


sung me moonstruck

by tansybells



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Arranged Marriage, Claude von Riegan is a Little Shit, Denial of Feelings, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Exes, F/F, Hilda is Not Prepared, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Relationship(s), Pining, Reconciliation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:28:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23450230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tansybells/pseuds/tansybells
Summary: While at the Academy, Hilda and Edelgard were girlfriends. Things changed as the years passed, however, and the once-close pair are now as distant as can be. Now, the Alliance and the Empire look to strengthen their relationship. What better way to do so than with an arranged marriage?Luckily, Claude knows just the perfect candidate.
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg & Hubert von Vestra, Hilda Valentine Goneril & Claude von Riegan, Hilda Valentine Goneril/Edelgard von Hresvelg
Comments: 112
Kudos: 254





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> title from sylvia plath's ["mad girl's love song"](https://allpoetry.com/Mad-Girl%27s-Love-Song)
> 
> thank you for reading! i hope you enjoy ❤

“This is never something I wanted for you, Hilda.” Lord Goneril reached across the table and gently set his ring-encrusted hand on top of Hilda’s. “Yet… we are nobility, darling. It has always been our duty to sacrifice ourselves for the good of our people.”

Hilda herself had nothing to say, but instead stared angrily down at the wood grain of the table separating her from her father and brother. She had always known it could be a possibility, an arranged marriage, but never before had she had such a strong feeling of powerlessness when facing up against the two men in her family.

Anyone else she could take on headfirst, but her dad? Her  _ brother?  _ They were the only two people in her life that she knew would never do anything to endanger her or intentionally make her sad – yet here she was, her lovely life upended with a single decree. She wanted to fight the decision that had been made for her, avoid each and every expectation that had been hung around her neck like a millstone, but her father’s words sank barbed teeth into her heart and refused to let go.

“And you?” Hilda finally said, snapping her attention towards the other man in the room and laying into him with all the righteous fury she could bring into her voice. “ _ You  _ don’t have anything to say about this?”

Claude, leader of the Leicester Alliance, former best friend, and recently appointed professional asshole, shrugged and daintily lifted his cup of coffee to his mouth. Hilda narrowed her gaze upon his drink, willing it with all her might to boil up and scald the top of his mouth in her place. But it didn’t, much to her chagrin, and Claude safely swallowed his coffee before setting the cup down and smiling at her.

The smile of a traitor. 

In response, Hilda curled her upper lip and bared her teeth in a snarl. Just to make sure he knew  _ exactly  _ where he now stood in her newly revised opinion. But if he was able to pick up on her sinister intentions, he made no sign of it and instead answered her question.

“There’s not a whole lot I can do about the situation,” Claude said, leaning forwards and propping his elbows up on the table with a placid smile. “You know how Fódlan stands right now, Hilda. All of the current lords are vying for a greater share of the power, seeing as how all three factions have… well, taking into consideration the recent shift in leadership”

“I don’t see what any of that has to do with me having to get married,” Hilda muttered, slouching against the back of her chair and crossing her arms over her chest.

“It’s a pretty simple matter. We,” Claude gestured between the two of them, then graciously added Holst and her father into the mix, “are attempting to improve our standing with the Adrestian Empire. We’ve been talking with them for the past few months now, and while us younger ones are okay to just shake hands, sign a contract, and call it a done deal, the current councils for both regions want something much more concrete.”

“Marriage.”

The guilty look on her father’s face confirmed Hilda’s answer.

“So why does it have to be me?” She looked from man to man to man with a grim pressing of her mouth, raising her brows in expectation. She really didn’t expect any of them to offer an answer other than that she was a young, fertile woman of marriageable age, Holst already had the whole Goneril heir thing on lock, and it was just the traditional thing to do. Claude, however, appeared to be prepared for just that question.

“We gave them a number of options, myself included, and they chose you.” 

His answer, blunt and probably honest as it was, caught Hilda off-guard.

“That doesn’t make sense. Why would someone turn down the  _ actual leader _ of the Alliance?” she asked, absolutely bewildered by the turn the conversation had taken. Claude shook his head.

“It just so happened, dearest Hilda, that I’m not this particular lord’s type.” After pushing his chair away from the table and standing up, Claude walked around to her side of the table and crouched down to sling an arm around Hilda’s shoulders. “However,” he continued, “I have it in excellent faith that you fit that type very well. Almost perfectly, in fact.”

Hilda frowned in disgust and twisted to look up at him.

“Ew. What the hell, Claude?”

He said nothing. He merely smiled, that awful, saccharine smile that made her guts twist up in a million knots and squeezed her shoulder in a show of faux comfort. Hilda sank her face into her open hands.

“Don’t worry, sweet Hilda,” he whispered into her ear. Hilda groaned, rolling her eyes behind the barrier of her hands. “Everything’s going to be okay. I swear it on my life. There’s no one else I trust more.”

“Who, the dude you’re marrying me off to?” Hilda swatted his hand off of her shoulder. “You trust him enough to toss me, beautiful and defenseless, into his arms?”

“Nah,” he said. “I trust you.”

* * *

Edelgard, Emperor of the Adrestian Empire, had been defeated.

She had long ago accepted that she would not have the luxury of perishing at home, surrounded by silken pillows and the tears of loved ones. No, no – realistically speaking, her reign so far had been divisive enough that she assumed she would either perish on the battlefield or at the hands of an assassin.

It had never even crossed her mind that something so simple and innocuous as a migraine would become the eventual cause of her death.

The pressure that had built behind her eyes over the course of the last hour had become nigh-unbearable. She had requested a cup of tea from a servant, having initially assumed that the pain was a result of a lack of caffeine. When that had done nothing to alleviate the pain, she had proceeded to drink several glasses of water. This process of elimination took time, but when at last every option other than simply returning to her quarters and allowing herself the luxury of a nap had been exhausted, Edelgard knew that she would merely have to steel herself and work through the throbbing pressure.

She pressed her knuckles against her temples and rubbed them in a gentle, circular motion in a final, futile attempt to ease her discomfort. Yet before she could finally look down and return to the stack of paperwork that sat on the desk before her, there was a soft yet serious knock at the door.

Edelgard sat up at her desk, her back ramrod straight, and with a stern, commanding voice worthy of an Emperor, granted her visitor the entry they had requested with a stately “Come in.” 

The ornate wooden door to her office swung open with a push. To her exhausted delight, the pinched face that greeted her was none other than that of her faithful retainer.

“Hubert.”

“Lady Edelgard.”

“I have a great deal of work to complete today,” Edelgard said as she picked up her paperwork and stood them up into a neat stack upon her desk. She did it for cleanliness’ sake, yes, but also to ensure that Hubert could see that there were indeed many things upon her docket and, as a direct result, any time he took from her work needed to be worth the diversion. Regardless, she soon steepled her fingers together and tilted her head to the side. “What is it that you have to tell me?”

“The negotiations with the Leicester Alliance have progressed,” Hubert said, “to a point where they have agreed to our council’s request to provide a candidate for marriage.”

“Ah.” Edelgard looked down to the first piece of paperwork on her desk, pulled it off of the stack and onto the empty desk before her, and picked up a quill to begin writing. Yet as the nib of her quill hovered above the first form, she glanced up to Hubert with expectant, lilac eyes.

“I don’t believe that you would come to me bearing nothing but such banal news,” she added once it became clear that Hubert was waiting for her to say something of merit. “What’s more, I trust that you, of all people, would know better than to distract from the tasks set before me.”

“Of course.” Hubert bowed with one of those short, curt movements that he so preferred, his hand placed over his chest in deference. “So I take it that –”

“Yes, Hubert. I would greatly appreciate it if you would supervise the negotiations and ensure that they run smoothly.”

She held very little interest in becoming involved with the marriage negotiations, after all. Considering first that the dusty old men making up the council were only interested in the procurance of an heir for the throne, and second that she held no interest in being romanced by whatever man was to be sent her way, it would be an immeasurable relief to pass the herculean task of finding a man who would be a husband in name only onto Hubert’s more than capable shoulders. 

Yet the man in question regarded her with a chilled garnet gaze before nodding in acquiescence. “It will be done,” he said, his unfaltering promise accentuated by another dip of his torso. “I shall do my utmost to ensure that the candidate chosen will at least bring you companionship – if nothing else.”

* * *

Hilda didn’t know what hurt more – that she had been so easily dropped by the wayside for the sake of her people, or that it had been  _ Claude  _ who’d orchestrated her doom.

Claude. Claude! The one person who knew her,  _ really  _ knew her, had disregarded all of her hopes, dreams, and fears for the future and instead used her, just like he used everyone else around him! It was ridiculous, how much his betrayal actually hurt.

She had bared her heart to him, after all, in a way that had been more honest and truthful than she had been with any other person before.

Well. Sorta. 

There’d been one other person, but there was no point in thinking about her, not when she was on the verge of getting married to some dude out there. She hadn’t heard a lot about him, a fact which she suspected had been further extrapolated by her lovely, darling Claude.

She knew only a few things about the noble she was affianced to. He was a major political force in the Adrestian Empire. He was rich and powerful and according to Claude, ‘literally everything she’d ever wanted.’ But after thinking back to the time she’d spent at Garreg Mach, she had come to the unfortunate conclusion that literally _none_ of the guys she’d grown up with there were – once again, according to Claude – ‘literally everything she’d ever wanted.’ Linhardt was boring, Ferdinand was cute but dumb, Caspar was just dumb, and Hubert was a walking nightmare – where in them could he see _anything_ that she might possibly find desirable?

Those were the only notable nobles of marriageable age that she could think of – oh, by the Goddess. What if he’d sold her off to some wrinkly old fart who was desperate for an heir??

The fact that she couldn’t weasel anything else out of Claude – hell, even out of her brother, who  _ adored  _ her – was nothing short of pure torture. Hilda had begged. She had wept. She had offered to actually sell her soul to whatever devil might be out there, yet Claude had continuously refused to ease her worries.

No, no – all he had done was smile secretively, told her to continue the process of unpacking and getting settled in the chambers she’d been given, and assured her that everything would be alright. Hilda had taken his advice and gone back to doing just that. To her credit, though, she  _ had  _ been considerate enough to suggest that he lie down and take a break after she’d punched him in the stomach.

Holst, on the other hand, had burst into tears and immediately vacated the room when she’d tried to get any information out of him, so there was that. Why he was getting so  _ emotional  _ over the matter, she didn’t know.

She wasn’t  _ dying,  _ just getting married.

Which, in her opinion, was close enough. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edelgard and Hilda attend an engagement ball, where Claude's plot is revealed.

“It’s kinda ridiculous that we haven’t, you know, actually  _ seen  _ the guy I’m supposedly engaged to,” Hilda chuckled, glancing up to see her brother’s smile. Yet to her surprise, the cheery look he’d had up until then had entirely disappeared, and been replaced by a tight-lipped look of worry. What’s more, he’d decided to completely ignore her in favor of the person who had come in with a surprising lack of fanfare.

Her Imperial Majesty, Edelgard von Hresvelg, now stood on a balcony from which she surveyed the entirety of the ball.

Her Imperial Majesty, _ her ex. _

Hilda groaned and buried her face in the swathes of silk that made up her brother’s flowing sleeves as his look of concern morphed to a gape of awe. She should have known that she would be seeing Edelgard – seeing as how they were literally celebrating Hilda’s engagement to an Adrestian noble  _ in her palace  _ – but it would have been nice to at least been given some sort of… she didn’t know, official  _ warning _ ? A chance to mentally prepare herself before presenting herself to the first – and only – woman who had managed to actually catch hold of her heart? Well, that  _ and _ break it.

She’d seen Edelgard in the past, of course, between their breakup and that night, but then she’d had the chance to totally suffocate any lingering pain with friends, fashion, and a fuckton of wine after the fact.

Not that she was like,  _ hung up  _ on it or anything.

As soon as Hilda managed to rebuild the fortitude to look back up towards the balcony, Edelgard was gone. Instead, the Emperor in her resplendent red gown had begun to descend down the stairs with her ever-present shadow looming behind her.

Hilda’s heart twisted more and more with each step Edelgard took, she was so beautiful. Every instinct screamed that perhaps she should look away, avoid making any interaction more awkward than it already would be, but even so she could not bring herself to pull her eyes away. And then, without warning, the worst happened.

Edelgard’s eyes, which had so far been flitting between the ball’s attendees, finally came to meet Hilda’s own in a clash of lilac and pink. Bowed lips painted over with crimson opened in a silent ‘ _ o’ _ and, for a brief second, Hilda could almost imagine that she saw the corners of Edelgard’s eyes tighten with some sort of emotion before the Emperor hastily looked away. Yet as soon as she did, Hubert leaned over her shoulder for a brief moment and those lilac eyes swung right back over to Hilda.

Her gut plummeted as Edelgard, without breaking eye contact, came to the bottom of the stairway and made straight for her.

“Fuck,” Hilda muttered, looking around her for any feasible outs. Claude was somewhere off talking to some fancy-ass noble, probably; her father had made besties with a bottle of wine in the face of his daughter’s marriage; and judging from the look on Holst’s face, there was no use in trying to convince brother dearest to cover for her.

* * *

While the presence of several Alliance nobles was to be expected at her engagement ball, seeing as how her upcoming marriage was integral to solidifying their position as allies, it was with undue shock that Edelgard took notice of a certain head of pink hair. Well, to tell the truth, there were several people with that peculiar shade of hair mulling about, but only one of them was so captivating that even Edelgard’s eye was immediately drawn to her upon entering the ballroom.

Lady Hilda Valentine Goneril.

Hilda, the woman with whom she’d had several romantic trysts during their shared time at the Academy.

It wasn’t necessarily unpleasant to see her. It was just a shock to see such a bittersweet memory being paraded about in front of her without a moment of care or consideration.

Edelgard’s red-gloved hand strayed to check the boning of her stay, just to make sure that none of them had taken it upon itself to stab her in the stomach in the moment that she had made contact with pink eyes that she once could have spent hours staring into. Yet everything seemed to be in order, and she was left to continue her once-endless journey down the stairway with a regal air of finality as soon as she dragged her gaze away from Hilda’s strange yet familiar figure.

There were other guests to be acknowledged, after all, and while there was no need for her to do anything more than sweep her attention across the crowd and give an occasional nod, her mind was firmly and irrefutably lodged upon their last conversation.

It was needless to say that upon this, the night of her engagement ball, she could think of naught else but what else could have happened had she not made the difficult decision that had set the two of them upon their separate paths.

Before Edelgard knew it, the toe of her shoe hit not the top of another descending step, but the level playing ground of the ballroom. A swarm of insidious nobles and faint acquaintances that fancied themselves above their station descended upon her, murmuring congratulations and adorations and all of the stuffy things that Edelgard so despised about the court. Perhaps getting married would not be such an ordeal after all – for wouldn’t having a partner acknowledged by all negate the common notion that hers was a hand that could be won over by emotions alone?

She had made several sacrifices for the sake of the throne. Surely, the loss of one more chance at finding joy would not create any great strife that she hadn’t yet experienced, for what was marriage but a means by which to advance one’s position?

Pink surfaced at the corner of her vision once more, and as Edelgard’s heart began to beat in accordance to a tempo that tempted to put the cheery pace of the orchestral quartet to shame, her feet stepped unbidden towards that once-beloved sight. She offered half hearted apologies and promises to speak again to her sycophants, but swept up in that unexpected feeling, escaped the crowd and followed the color with Hubert close behind.

“I didn’t know,” she said, grateful for the reverential parting of the masses as the young Lord Goneril finally came into the acceptable range of conversation, “that you would be in attendance tonight, Lord Goneril.”

She smiled thinly at Holst, though even the olive branch she extended did not seem to settle how uncomfortable he appeared despite his great renown in battle and fortunate ease upon the eyes. Yet despite her words, the reason for his presence was to be expected. House Goneril was in favorable standing with Duke Riegan, so it stood to reason that an invitation to the celebration would have been extended to them. What  _ was  _ unexpected, however, was that Hilda seemed to be struggling to bunch herself into the considerable shadow that her brother cast.

Well. Perhaps Hilda’s reaction wasn’t entirely unwarranted – Edelgard suspected that she felt a similar churning in the pit of her stomach at the sight of someone who had once held her close. But there was nothing to be done about the situation at hand, for she couldn’t exactly  _ ignore  _ that they had been reunited once more.

“It’s a pleasant surprise to see you as well, Lady Goneril.” Her voice came out softer than she’d intended. It was gentle, like she was trying to coax a frightened rabbit out from the bush it had concealed itself within – a precaution which was ultimately unnecessary. No matter what posturing Hilda preferred to take on as part of her attempts to weasel out of unpleasant tasks, the steely glint in her eyes was as far from being that of trembling prey as it could be.

“The pleasure is mine.” Hilda stepped out from Holst’s side, yet remained near even as she crossed her arms over her chest in casual defiance. It was clear to Edelgard that she would be getting nothing out of Hilda but what was required, a stance which she could understand despite the sharp knot in which her stomach twisted in response to the brusque words under the veneer of polite cheer.

But no matter who she was speaking to, Edelgard was not one to let herself be bested in a battle of wills.

“I hope your trip was comfortable. It’s a long way from Goneril territory to Enbarr by carriage.”

“Yeah, it was fine.”

“Have your accommodations been to your liking?”

“They’ve been fine.”

“And what of –”

“It’s been fine, Your Imperial Majesty.”

The twist of Edelgard’s stomach dropped further as each attempt at conversation was unceremoniously shut down. Even so, she had a horrible feeling that she couldn’t just leave Hilda like this, upcoming engagement or no.

“Please, don’t hesitate to let me know if –” 

“You literally have nothing to worry about; I’m just here for –”

Edelgard pressed her lips together in frustration and looked away from Hilda’s deadened expression. Clearly, there was nothing to be done here, and as nice as it might have been to try and mend the rift between them that she had caused, it would be impossible for her to do it on her own.

Very well. Reformations could only be forced so far.  


* * *

The ringing of metal against glass caught Hilda’s attention, and she turned to see that at some point, Claude had overtaken Edelgard’s prior position upon the balcony.

“Excuse me,” he called out once only a few people turned their heads to pay attention, his voice booming across the ballroom. “Excuse me! Thank you, thank you. I know all of you are waiting with bated breath to find out just who is getting engaged tonight to solidify the alliance between the Empire and, well, the Alliance.”

He cleared his throat, and with a quick adjustment to the collar of his shirt and a conspiratory wink in Hilda’s direction, continued.

“As Leader of the Leicester Alliance and family friend to the affianced, it’s my honor to officially announce the engagement of Emperor Edelgard von Hresvelg to Lady Hilda Valentine Goneril!”

The nobles around her burst into cheers and applause. Hilda’s stomach, however, dropped and she stared at Claude as her mind worked overtime in a desperate attempt to process the big news he’d so casually let loose.

Her? Engaged to – to  _ her _ ? To  _ Edelgard _ ?

Claude had implied that she was getting hitched to a big name, yeah, but how he had managed to bypass the fact that she was marrying the _fucking_ _Emperor herself,_ she had absolutely no clue. And honestly, she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to know how he’d managed to pull off such a dastardly act.

She was going to murder him, she decided. She was going to murder that callous, big-headed, inconsiderate, straight-up Machiavellian idiot in cold blood if it was the last thing she did!

But to get to Claude, she had to make it to the stairs leading up to the balcony he was standing on – and to reach those stairs, she had to face Edelgard herself.

As soon as she made eye contact, she knew that there was absolutely no hope of reaching Claude in time to shut him up. So instead, she set her hands on her hips and shifted her anger towards who she could only assume to be his dastardly partner in crime. Yet to her surprise, the horrified, slack-jawed expression that crossed Edelgard’s face in the split second before she managed to school herself back into regal neutrality told Hilda almost everything she needed to know about the situation.

It told her that Edelgard was  _ just _ as surprised as she was.

From up above, a heated yet hushed argument arose between Hubert, who had somehow managed to separate himself from the Emperor’s side, and Claude who did not sound as if he felt guilty in the slightest. Hilda’s mouth moved soundlessly as Claude’s voice rose up above the hubbub of the surrounding crowd.

“Oh, you meant  _ Holst _ ? Not Hilda? My goodness, you should have spoken up! I don’t know if we can go back from that one. I fear that all the paperwork’s been finished, too.”

Paperwork, schmaperwork. All Hilda heard was Claude selling her off to the one person that she firmly believed would want anything but. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edelgard and Hilda acknowledge the news of their engagement in two very different ways. Hubert offers to murder someone, Claude comes dangerously close to being strangled, and Edelgard attempts to mend the rift between her and her new fiancée.

“I would be greatly disappointed to hear that you had any hand in this,” Edelgard murmured to Hubert, who stood silently behind her as she surveyed those attendees that had not yet become drunk enough to be informally escorted out.

This was always her preferred part of the arduous party process: the quiet, settled moment before everyone began to seek her out and offer their formal farewells. It had taken far longer than normal to reach that point tonight, however, since everyone and their lady mother had felt obligated to approach her and congratulate her upon her recent engagement.

Hilda herself had been nearby for a short while, but she couldn’t see her anymore. Edelgard wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not – as much as she would have appreciated the opportunity to speak with her and discuss the development, she was relieved that she could put off what would undoubtedly be an awkward conversation for just a little while longer.

Out of the corner of her eye, Edelgard saw her retainer shake his head with a grim press of his lips.

“I am of the opinion that it was Duke Riegan’s doing, Lady Edelgard.” He said, his gravelly voice low enough for only her to hear. “I considered the topic of your engagement with great care, and communicated my conclusion with the Duke, but either a mistake was made along the way or he took a personal hand in the matter – and only a foolish man would assume he would make a mistake so easily.”

Edelgard hummed in assent. It hadn’t been Hilda behind the swap, that was certain; she had seen the shocked expression upon the other’s face as the announcement had been made. All the same, she couldn’t completely deny the potential that she had been involved, given their prior… relationship.

“His protests after the fact would certainly point us that way.” Only Hubert was close enough to witness her confusion and frustration, so she crossed her arms over her chest and granted herself the luxury of a sigh. “It almost makes me wonder just what he has been privy to.”

“Consider that if  _ I  _ was aware of your series of rendezvouses with the Goneril girl, there is little reason to doubt that he would have known as well.” 

“Which makes it only all the more…” Edelgard clucked her tongue and took advantage of the filler to put together her thoughts in an understandable manner. When she spoke again, it was slowly and with consideration.

“I don’t believe that Claude would take it upon himself to be wholly malicious in such a case,” she continued, “seeing as how important the strengthening of our relationship is to his people.”

That wasn’t saying that he wouldn’t have kept a few aces up his sleeve or stacked the deck in his favor. Far from it. But the idea that he would go so far as to use his knowledge of her past relationships soured Edelgard’s stomach. The time she’d spent with Hilda had been a precious memory of her life as a student, of the brief time she’d allowed herself to act her age and get swept up in emotion before she took on her goals with full force, and that Claude had taken those memories and warped them to his own advantage was nothing short of infuriating.

Hubert took advantage of her silence to offer up a thought of his own.

“Do I need to intervene?”

“No, Hubert. No need for such drastic measures.” She answered quickly, ignoring the fact that the speed of her response would have given her retainer all the knowledge he needed.

Laying his hand over his heart and offering forth a shallow bow, he murmured his acknowledgement.

Accepting his words as truth with a barely perceptible nod, Edelgard assigned her full attention to an approaching cluster of nobles. Yet as she took their formal goodbyes in stride with gracious regality, she had to think.

Claude had overstepped his bounds, that was without question. But perhaps in his arrogance, she had been gifted with a valuable opportunity that she would be remiss to let pass by.

* * *

It took waaaaaay too much time to hunt Claude down, thanks to what felt like hundreds and thousands of randos who had decided it was necessary to hunt her down and tell her how cool, surprising, or absolutely fucked up it was that she was slated to get married to their illustrious Emperor. But eventually she  _ did  _ hunt him down, and without any explanation, she  _ did _ forcefully drag him out of the ballroom and into a nearby corridor.

“How could you do that?” Hilda demanded, letting go of Claude’s hand and whirling about so that they stood face-to-face. Despite the disparity in height between them, she made use of her considerably high heels to grab the collar of his dress shirt and drag him down to her level.

“You _know_ what went down between us back at school!” she snarled in his face, the tears that she’d held back finally beginning to fall now that they were away from the public eye. Even so, there didn’t seem to be any sort of panic or terror in Claude’s deep eyes, only that placating smile that she’d seen so _damn_ much of since he’d let her know of her future engagement.

“You are like, the  _ only  _ person who knows what went down between us at school! And yet, even though you know all that, that I  _ trusted  _ you with that, you still thought it would be fucking  _ okay  _ to set this whole thing up?”

“There’s more to this than you think,” Claude protested, gentle even in the face of her raging emotions. Hilda narrowed her eyes, frustrated by how cool he remained.

“I don’t want to see your face again,” she whispered sweetly as she fluttered her lashes with a smile that belied her fury, “not until you use that big brain of yours to figure out how to get back on my good side.”

Hilda let go of his shirt and pushed Claude away. He opened his mouth to say something, but she placed a finger on his lips before he could make a sound. “And you’d better figure it out soon, especially if I have to follow through with your bullshit and  _ actually _ marry the very Emperor you were so eager to make an alliance with.”

Her smile turned somber; she stepped away and dusted her hands on the fabric of her gown. A gown that was suitably designed for the woman betrothed to an Emperor, it now seemed. And if it so happened that she was going to have to marry Edelgard, then maybe it was time for her to act the part.

“If you leave it like it is now… who knows; it might end up just being you and your schemes. You seem to care about them more than you do your friends, after all.” Hilda blew her friend a kiss and ran down the hall to the nearest washroom. She needed to dry her tears, but even if she didn’t really want to return to the ball at all, she had no desire to do anything while there was mascara streaking down her face.

* * *

It was only fortune, Edelgard supposed, that she managed to catch Hilda in the hallway leading to her room after the ball had ended, for it eliminated the need to request a conference with her in the following morning. Yet right from the beginning, the power imbalance between them was clear for all to see. Edelgard remained in the opulent crimson gown she had worn throughout the evening, for unlike someone else,  _ she _ hadn’t been granted the luxury of leaving the celebration prematurely.

Hilda, on the other hand, seemed to have taken advantage of her early departure and prepared for bed. Her own dress had been replaced by a dressing gown that revealed much of her lacy pajamas and – much to Edelgard’s flusterment, but not really her surprise – a surprising amount of cleavage.

“Lady Goneril.”

Edelgard spoke up before Hilda turned the corner of the hallway, her hand subconsciously reaching out slightly as if she could physically halt her flight. But as Hilda turned around and raised a brow, her hand set defiantly on her hip, Edelgard returned to her most regal posturing and clasped her hands together in front of her skirt with a deflated sigh.

“What do you want?” Hilda’s voice was icier than it had been in the ballroom, though it was still not wholly unkind. She tossed her hair behind her and, instead of making the deferential eye contact that Edelgard was so used to from other nobles, began to examine the quality of her manicure. “Like, the last time you called me out for a private chat, you made it pretty damn clear that you couldn’t have a relationship with me and become Emperor too.”

Her words, expertly barbed despite her casual stance, hit their target. Edelgard had enough self-restraint to not physically recoil at the unpleasant reminder of their final parting, but even she could not refrain from momentarily diverting her gaze in the face of Hilda’s disdain.

“We were – no,  _ I _ was younger then,” Edelgard said after a moment, keeping her eyes focused on a nearby sconce over Hilda’s shoulder as opposed to meeting Hilda’s accusatory expression. “I had not considered… I did not know that it could be possible to –”

“You know what?” Hilda interrupted, holding her hand up between the two of them, “I changed my mind. I  _ don’t  _ feel like having this conversation with you right now. Or ever, actually.”

Edelgard was familiar with false smiles. Many days, it seemed as though false smiles were the only ones that she ever had the opportunity to see – her own included. Yet the smile which distorted Hilda’s otherwise passive expression in that moment elicited more frustration than she had thought one ever would.

“So, seeing as how you’re the goddamn Emperor and I’m just the poor little Alliance noble forced to get hitched to you,” Hilda continued without hesitation, “maybe we should just play nice for the audience and have nothing to do with each other besides that. Sound good?”

“Hilda, I didn’t –”

The intensity of Hilda’s smile faded as a previously unseen wrinkle deepened between her brows.

“So it  _ was _ ‘Lady Goneril,’ and now it’s ‘Hilda,’” she pointedly murmured to herself, the sudden shift in address finally breaking her refusal to look directly at Edelgard. But then with a toss of her head and her hands on her hips, she looked Edelgard on with all the mental fortitude she possessed.

“Alright, Lady Edelgard.” Edelgard didn’t even have the chance to react in turn before Hilda rattled on. “I don’t know about you, but I, for one, have had a super long and emotionally devastating day, and I’m gonna go to bed. And I need my beauty sleep, so don’t bother sending anyone to wake me up in the morning, cool? Cool, glad we’re on the same page.”

A slight wave of her fingers in Edelgard’s direction served as a wave good-bye, her dismissal without explicitly calling it as such. In a flutter of pink and lace, Hilda was gone, and Edelgard was left alone with naught but scurrying servants and her own conflicted feelings on the matter.

_ ‘Lady Edelgard,’  _ she had called her – a title which was just one small step away from avoiding the use of her name entirely. Such a blend of formal and informal would have been an acceptable choice were it to come from any other person.

But to hear such a distant moniker fall from the lips of a woman who had once been so close as to call her by the most intimate of names… it may very well have been a knife to her heart itself, it hurt so.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hilda wakes up on the morning of her wedding. Edelgard receives an unexpected visitor.

Hilda’s last night as a single woman, flirty and fancy-free, had been much less interesting than she’d always expected it to be. In lieu of the mother-daughter talk that traditionally took place on the night before a wedding and ensured that she was aware of her marital responsibilities following the ceremony, her father and brother had dropped by to… well, to make sure of just that.

That knock on her door had taken her by surprise, considering that she’d never felt like being particularly  _ covert  _ about her exploits. But at the same time, it kinda spoke to her greatest frustration: they believed so much better of her than what she actually could actually provide.

Sweet naivety, right?

But eventually – thankfully! – they’d left with a million tear-stained hankies in their wake and Hilda had been left to her own devices. Even after she was free of their weepiness, though, it’d been practically impossible for her to fall asleep thanks to the overwhelming sense of dread that’d overtaken her as soon as the finite nature of the next day’s ceremony had fully sunk in.

She’d actually woke up… surprisingly early, considering how late it had been when she actually conked out. It was early enough, actually, that the pale light of morning broke past the fluttering curtains of her open windows and danced across her face like an itsy-bitsy little ballerina.

Fuck, she wanted to punch that ballerina.

Hilda groaned and threw an arm up over her eyes to block out the light. This was the worst way to wake up,  _ especially  _ on her wedding day.

Fuck. Her wedding. She was getting married.

To Edelgard.

It was so weird to think that this was what her life had come to. She hadn’t been dumb enough to actually  _ think _ that she’d ever have the opportunity to marry Edelgard, even when they were going out at the Academy. That’s how secret relationships usually turned out after all, right? And like, she’d been heartbroken back when Edelgard had officially dumped her, but she hadn’t been  _ surprised.  _ Not by a long shot.

It’d just been one of those things that came with dating, well, _the_ _literal emperor of a whole ‘nother country._ It had always been in the cards that Edelgard would marry someone for the sake of her country.

Who would have ever expected that someone to be her? Definitely not Hilda herself, no. There were still mornings where she woke up totally convinced that she was in some sort of a dream.

But even as she dragged herself out of bed and made herself presentable enough to be witnessed by others, she couldn’t shake off the feeling that she had some sort of unfinished business with Edelgard. The two of them hadn’t really talked since Edelgard had approached her that night of their engagement ball, and while Hilda felt entirely righteous in the moment’s anger, she couldn’t shake off the memory of Edelgard’s somber expression.

As much as it would suck, maybe it was about time to acknowledge the fact that she wasn’t the only one being pressured into marriage. And maybe, this whole thing was just as difficult to maneuver for Edelgard as it was for her.

Yeah, no. Edelgard was, once again, the literal emperor of a country. She probably knew exactly how to handle this whole political marriage thing without a hitch.

But all the same…

She knew how Edelgard was. Or at least, how she had been while they were still students together. Still going out. Edelgard tended to just – shove herself down until there was nothing left but ambition, and totally ignore the stuff that made her human.

And all things considered, Hilda would  _ much  _ rather get married to a human. Consider it her tradeoff for being a pawn in Claude’s political game.

Servants and guests alike ran up and down the halls as she made her way down to Edelgard’s rooms, frantically preparing for that afternoon’s ceremony. Much to Hilda’s pleasure, most of them were so busy that they entirely overlooked her. It wasn’t until she stood in front of Edelgard’s door itself that one of her fiancée’s ladies-in-waiting let herself out of the room and noticed her.

“Oh!” The lady-in-waiting gasped, falling back against the door and placing a hand over her heart. “I am so very sorry, milady, for not seeing you there! Was there something you wished for?”

“I’m fine, promise.” Hilda brushed off the apology, then gestured towards the serving tray that the lady held like a shield against her stomach. “Looks like Edelgard’s awake, huh?”

The lady glanced over her shoulder to the closed door behind her. “Her Imperial Majesty has been awake for some time now, Lady Hilda,” she confirmed, speaking under her breath like she was bestowing upon her some stupidly grand secret. “I just brought her a breakfast from the kitchen. Would you like me to bring another one so you can eat with her?”

Hilda resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Edelgard could be controversial, sure, but she had yet to figure out whether it was Hubert or Edelgard whose paranoia had led them to keeping such a lock on Edelgard’s sleeping habits.

Ha, as if! It was totally Hubert.

“Nah, don’t bother. I’m just dropping by to say hi. Or something like that?” Hilda hid her undefined plans with a quiet laugh. “Sure, it’s super bad luck to see the bride before the wedding, but I figure it doesn’t count until you’re actually dressed for it.”

The lady nodded, and with a quick half-curtsy, she slipped out from between Hilda and Edelgard’s bedroom door.

Finally.

After tugging the lengths of her hair over her shoulder so it flowed enticingly down her torso, Hilda adjusted the neckline of her dressing gown to show just a  _ tiny  _ bit more cleavage. If she was going to fraternize with her fiancée, she might as well utilize her best assets.

She knocked on the door and waited. When Edelgard didn’t immediately respond to her beckoning, however, she lifted her hand to knock again – and just before she knocked, the door opened slightly.

Through the crack, a sliver of Edelgard’s tired face made itself visible. Hilda sighed. Maybe there was the possibility that with Hilda being so close now, she might pick up on the importance of beauty sleep. Though to be fair, she knew that the only way to make sure that Edelgard got enough sleep in the first place was to literally shove her onto a bed and refuse to let her get up.

“Hilda?” Edelgard opened the door further, wide enough that Hilda could see her fully, then crossed her arms over the open front of her dressing gown and squinted at Hilda. “I’m surprised to see you so early in the morning,” she said. “What do you need? Is something not to your satisfaction?”

Despite Edelgard’s less-than-kind insinuation that she’d only drop by whenever she wanted something – and the unfortunate truth lurking within said insinuation – Hilda smiled sweetly and shook her head.

“Nah, not today,” she crooned, her smile taking a turn for the coy. “I just wanted to see how the bride is doing on her big day. Is that such a weird thing?”

Edelgard’s head dropped slightly as she sighed and opened the door all the way. Hilda didn’t hesitate to sidle by her fiancée’s slender form and go straight for the beautifully fluffy bed.

Sitting down on the edge of the mattress, Hilda crossed one leg over the other and watched Edelgard go about her business. As soon as the door was closed, she returned to a slim writing desk that Hilda assumed, judging by the tray of food, she had been eating at before her morning ritual had been interrupted. But instead of resuming her meal once she sat down, Edelgard picked up a hairbrush and began running it methodically through her hair. She did not look back towards Hilda.

“So I was thinking,” Hilda began, casually testing the bounce of Edelgard’s mattress, “it’s gotta be pretty confusing for me to show up unannounced, seeing how I stormed off last time.”

“It was certainly unexpected.” Edelgard spoke carefully, like she was dancing around the point Hilda was trying to make. “I didn’t expect to see you until… later.”

“Not ‘til the wedding, you mean.”

“…yes. The wedding.”

Hilda arched a brow, her eyes fixated on the repetitious movement of the brush in Edelgard’s slender hand. With each stroke, Edelgard’s ivory hair shone brighter and brighter until there was nothing Hilda wanted to do more than submerge her hands in that river of starlight and never pull away.

Goddess above, she used to be able to do that. Away from the eyes of all the other students, of course, but she used to be able to  _ do  _ that!

“Was there a point to your visit?” Edelgard set her brush down on the desk and turned around to finally face her. Hilda blinked and shook her head, caught off-guard by Edelgard’s sudden participation in the conversation. “I can’t believe that you’d come visit me without a point. Not with such a history as ours.”

Hilda snorted.

“Yeah, no,” she replied. “I wanted to… well, not exactly  _ apologize  _ for what I said last time. Which I stand by, by the way. You totally played with me, and I will take my righteous anger to the goddamn grave.”

Edelgard nodded. She wasn’t really agreeing or denying the legitimacy of Hilda’s claim, but the motion was just deep enough that Hilda knew her point had been acknowledged.

“But anyway! What I’m  _ trying  _ to say is…” Hilda inhaled deeply, taking advantage of the moment to actually put her thoughts together. “Okay. I know that this whole thing isn’t ideal for like, either of us. It’s awkward as hell, but also…”

She tried to keep her shrug super noncommittal.

“We can’t really get out of this. And like… if you end up finding someone you love, somewhere down the line, cool. I don’t care. This is just a fucked-up business transaction.”

Her chest felt heavy. Why did it feel heavy, when she was only stating the obvious? Trying to get the words out felt like trying to swallow down the nastiest of medicines – impossible, but it still needed to be done.

Hilda couldn’t bring herself to look at Edelgard any longer. “But I’m willing to work with you to make this weird thing happen, okay? I know there’s nothing between us anymore, but I think we can still have some sort of happy life. More importantly, I’m going to make sure we do. Or, at least  _ I  _ do.”

“That is also my wish.” 

Hilda blinked, shook her head to shake off whatever auditory hallucination she’d just experienced. But in looking back to Edelgard, whose lilac gaze was as calm and steady as ever as a thin, serene smile broke across her expression, she had to think that maybe her wish wasn’t as distant as she believed. 

* * *

As soon as Hilda departed and the door to her room closed with the sturdy  _ thud  _ she was so familiar with, Edelgard rose from her seat, abandoning her breakfast, and took over Hilda’s spot on her bed. The faint, floral scent of Hilda’s perfume washed over her, and she fell back across the mattress. She pressed her hands to her face. The cool silk of her gloves supplied a faintly refreshing feeling against the heated blush that had risen to her cheeks.

She was no fool. As Hilda had said, there was no lost love between them. Edelgard only had to convince herself of that fact, and they would be perfectly fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's the majority of my backlog! the wedding chapter will be coming up next, but it might be a while since i like to have a few extra chapters to sit on. 
> 
> what do you think so far? i know it's moving pretty fast, but honestly so much of this is wish fulfillment fueled by my desire to write soft scenes. i'd still love to hear your thoughts. 
> 
> i can be found at my [tumblr](https://tansybells.tumblr.com) and my [twitter](https://twitter.com/tansybells) if you feel like chatting! and as always, comments and kudos are _super_ appreciated. 
> 
> i hope you enjoyed reading what i've written so far! thank you for all of your support ♡


	5. Chapter 5

“Are you certain that you wish to go through with this, Lady Edelgard?”

“I have told you time and time again, Hubert.” Edelgard turned away from the mirror and tugged at the hem of her white satin gloves. “I understand your concern – and your guilt for allowing such a situation to arise – but I assure you. I firmly believe that Hilda – no, that  _ Lady Goneril _ will be more than adequate for the role soon to be thrust upon her.”

Hilda was soft where she herself was rigid stone, kind where she was stern. Yet at the same time, Hilda was a woman of her own making and a veritable force of nature. It was a pity that she’d never been politically minded, but perhaps that nonchalant nature with which she addressed the nobility around her was the reason she had been so drawn to Hilda in the first place. Even so, it was her hope that Hilda’s nonchalant nature would be a suitable compliment to Edelgard’s own ambitious tendencies.

Hubert reached out and gently stopped her hand from continuing to worry the hem of her glove. “You know that my only desire is your happiness,” he said, his voice dropping to a murmur despite the fact that all of her attendants had long left the room. “And I shall do whatever it takes to ensure it. Even if it means coexisting with such a character as  _ her. _ ”

As he brushed imaginary dust from the front of her wedding gown, perfecting the image of a spotless young bride, Edelgard allowed herself a brief moment to bask in the comfort his continued presence brought her.

She would never admit it, but she was scared. Even as she simply glanced to the door separating her and the next great change in her life, she could feel her heart begin to race. She had always adapted to the twists and turns of fate with her head held high, yet somehow, this was different from usual. The wedding, political as it was, had become an emotionally charged event due to Lord von Riegan’s interference.

Had a husband been chosen for her, as she had originally tasked Hubert with, then she would have felt nothing but dread. Marriage had never been out of the question, after all, and she knew that the likelihood of her ever finding true joy in life with a husband was… highly unlikely. 

Not that joy was something an Emperor such as herself could expect to obtain.

Yet now that her former paramour had been brought into the picture, she found herself… hopeful. Not that their old relationship might be rekindled, no, but rather that they could one day become happy together despite their differences.

“Your loyalty is ever appreciated,” Edelgard said, taking Hubert’s hand in her own. Using his larger frame as support, she stepped down from the low dais that her attendants had dressed her upon. “It is far from traditional, Hubert, but you know that I am the last of my name. And while I am aware of the great…  _ disdain  _ that you hold for my fiancée, it would bring me joy if you would escort me down the aisle.”

“I had assumed that I would,” Hubert remarked in turn as he readjusted Edelgard’s grasp so that she held his crooked elbow instead. “Who else would take such a grave task upon themselves?”

“I can think of no one better suited for the task.” Edelgard squeezed his arm and allowed herself a content, private smile.

She had never been the sort to shy away from the trials that forever awaited her. Yet now, dressed in a white gown that she felt too dirty to deserve, she was grateful to have Hubert there to accompany her. Without his support, reluctant as it may have been, approaching the inevitability of her wedding would have felt entirely impossible.  
  


* * *

  
Her father’s arm trembled beneath hers, despite the noble dignity that held him upright. Every so often, he turned to her with a thin, wavering smile and a lingering look of pride.

It was a little funny. Not like, actually funny though. More ironic than anything else. He was the one who had given the go-ahead for her marriage, yet here he was, tears glistening in his eyes as he walked her towards the priest that waited for her and Edelgard to join him.

At least it wasn’t Holst. She wasn’t trying to judge him, but since she could literally see him among the front rows with a pile of sopping-wet handkerchiefs and the sappiest expression she’d ever seen, she felt pretty damn confident in her choice of escort. And it wasn’t for lack of effort on his part, either. She was just lucky that tradition usually called for the father, assuming one was around.

Poor Edelgard. She’d gotten stuck with Hubert.  _ Hubert.  _ Though maybe in some weird, twisted way, he did count as family in her eyes.

Oh, shit. Did that mean he was about to be  _ her  _ family, too?

Hilda could picture it already. Hell, she could basically feel his big ol’ hands around her neck at the thought of calling him ‘brother-in-law.’ Or maybe ‘father-in-law;’ she wasn’t picky. Just somewhat invested in pissing Hubert off.

But today was her wedding day. She could be magnanimous for now, keep her wicked plans at the back of her mind until the day’s challenges were over, and  _ then  _ be free to act upon them.

Until then, she’d just have to kinda… march through it.

Each step brought her closer towards what was probably the weirdest event of her life. She knew she was a bride, like she’d dreamed of being as a little girl, but nothing seemed to settle the cocktail of nerves, reluctance, and wine that filled her stomach. Despite feeling the eyes of just about every person she’d ever known and cared about boring into the white lace that covered her back, bursting with expectation, she felt none of the joy or pride that she’d always believed would accompany her wedding. 

She was a fraud. Political marriages were still relatively common, yeah, but she was supposed to be exempt from all that. She was  _ supposed  _ to be marrying someone she had feelings for. The love of her life.

Nope! Not for her. That particular dream had been stolen out from right under her butt.

Up ahead, she could see Edelgard staring ahead towards their officiant. Noble and distant, just like always. Honestly, Hilda had a hard time not resenting her for being so chill. Especially when she knew for a fact that the Emperor had also been reluctantly dragged into this whole shebang.

Edelgard turned to look over her shoulder, and as Hilda looked on in surprise, gave her a gentle – if thin and stressed – smile.

_ We are in this together, _ she seemed to say.  _ Neither of us asked for this, but we’ll make it work. _

And with just that, Hilda felt the strain of her own smile start to dissipate. Yeah, it sucked, but at least she wasn’t alone.

Her father let her go as soon as they drew close enough to the officiant that it would be awkward for him to go any further. Hilda gave him a lil kiss on the cheek, and picking up swathes of her dress in her hands so she didn’t trip, walked up the stairs to stand by Edelgard.

It had been a long time since Hilda had allowed herself to associate Edelgard with the color white. Sure, it was the color of her hair, but it had become  _ so  _ much easier to distance herself from the heartbreak if she only thought of Edelgard in terms of red.

When she was red, Edelgard was the Emperor of the Adrestian Empire. She was the mighty ruler who had taken hold of her country’s future and steadily steered it towards the reformation it so badly needed. Nothing more.

But as Edelgard stood across from her in a gown so white that her intricately coiled hair was ivory in comparison, her gloved hands trembling almost imperceptibly, all Hilda could think of was the white of that innocent first love.

Then the sun hit the stained-glass windows behind them just right, and a rainbow of color washed over the two of them and their conjoined hands. And as Hilda leaned in to kiss the bride under the resplendent mosaic that shone upon them, bathing them with every color under the sun, it crossed her mind that maybe there was a bit more to them than their past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so that was the wedding! i know it's a shorter chapter than what i like to put up, but i am eternally compelled to end chapters with as much drama as i can possibly conjure. but what did you think? is it moving too fast for your taste?
> 
> oh! just so you know, i am going to take a break from updating this fic for the next few weeks or so, just to build my buffer of chapters up. the next one has one of my favorite scenes though, so i do think it'll be worth the wait in the end! 
> 
> i can be found at my [tumblr](https://tansybells.tumblr.com/) and my [twitter](https://twitter.com/tansybells) if you feel like chatting!
> 
> i hope you enjoyed reading what i've written so far! thank you for all of your support - your comments and kudos on the last chapter were extremely kind, and i'd love to hear what you think about this chapter ♡


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claude congratulates the newly wedded couple. Edelgard holds a civil conversation with him. Hilda... tries to.

If Edelgard had once thought that the worst part of any social gathering was the process of doling out her good-nights to every noble in attendance, she now was fully aware of something even more miserable: withstanding the parade of congratulations from those who had been invited to attend the reception.

She had yet to determine, however, whether it was better or worse to have Hilda by her side as the evening proceeded. Hilda was certainly still as socially adept as ever – and if she was growing tired of the endless stream of nobles, she certainly showed no sign of it. Edelgard didn’t expect that she would, either.

She wasn't given an opportunity to ask Hilda how she was holding up, however, because one of the very guests she'd been silently bemoaning made his presence known.

“Your Majesty.”

“Lord von Riegan,” Edelgard responded as manners dictated.

At the same time, Hilda hissed, “ _Claude_ ,” and Edelgard looked over to see anger burning in her wife’s eyes.

She had overheard rumors after the engagement ball, yes, but she hadn’t expected Hilda to react to Claude’s presence at their wedding so… so _vehemently_ . Had the nigh-unbreakable relationship that she remembered from their student days truly become so soured? Though in all honesty, Claude _had_ undeniably changed the course of Hilda’s life for good. And not for the better, if Hilda’s reluctance to speak with her was anything to go by.

There _had_ been Hilda’s visit to her room that morning, though… was it unfair of her to further read into that?

“Lady wife,” Edelgard quietly interjected as she reached out to place her hand on the white fabric of Hilda’s sleeve. She would have to privately speak with Hilda later and decide upon an appropriate title by which to call her in public, but in that moment, it was far more important to diffuse the situation between her new wife and her new ally. “Today is supposed to be a joyous day.”

“The wedding _was_ nice to watch,” Claude said. “I knew you could pull off just about every color, Hilda, but I hadn’t expected you to actually wear white for your wedding. What happened to your plan for pink frills everywhere?”

To her side, Hilda took a deep, shuddering breath.

“Claude,” she said through gritted teeth, “it looks to me like you forgot how many options a certain _someone_ took away from me. Not like someone marrying an _emperor_ is gonna get to express their opinions about their goddamn wedding.”

It was difficult for Edelgard to keep her expression passive. Hilda had made her resentment clear from day one, and she _knew_ that Hilda didn’t blame her – not for _this,_ at least – but her ears burned with shame anyway.

She felt at fault. No, she _was_ at fault. If it hadn’t been for her past with Hilda, there never would have been cause for Claude to offer her up in the first place. The least she could do was attempt to diffuse the situation and put their argument on hold.

Edelgard leaned in close to Hilda and dropped her voice. “While I am as vexed as you are regarding the circumstances that brought this day into existence,” she said, “I do not believe now is the time to express your frustration. Little pitchers have big ears, as they say, and those of the noble variety have the biggest of all.” 

Careful to avoid drawing much attention to the motion, Edelgard tilted her head towards a number of guests that hovered a little too close for comfort. “There will always be another chance for conversation, now that Claude is but a guest in your home.”

 _Your home,_ she said, hoping to assure Hilda that not only did the palace belong as much to her as it did to Edelgard now, but that there was a certain amount of power that came with being the Emperor’s wife.

 _Our home,_ she left unspoken, a wordless wish.

“Thank you for sharing in the day with us,” Hilda said after a few moments of consideration, her gratitude stilted and forced. Something warm curled in Edelgard’s chest at the effort being put forth, and she squeezed Hilda’s arm with a thankful smile. Hilda returned her glance and smiled thinly.

“I’m going to check my lipstick,” she said, patting the top of Edelgard’s hand before letting go. “I’ll talk to you later, Claude. Okay? Okay. Thanks for dropping by.”

As Hilda swept away, the white fabric of her dress shimmering under the sunlight coming through the windows, Edelgard sighed.

“You never did explain yourself,” she said to Claude as soon as Hilda was gone, her brow raised in expectation. “Why?”

Claude chuckled and ran his hand through his hair. “You never got to see it,” he said as he averted his eyes towards the door Hilda had gone through, “but the breakup _really_ screwed her over. She’s great at smiling for the audience, sure, but do you know how many times I dropped by to check on her just for her to open the door and pretend she wasn’t crying?”

“No,” Edelgard admitted. After she’d broken up with Hilda, she’d spent a good deal of her free time finding suitable excuses to not be in the same general space as her. The guilt had been nothing short of overwhelming, and it had become so much easier to plunge herself deeper into her studies than face the reality of her heartache.

Looking to where Hubert stood behind her, Edelgard tilted her head after Hilda. Hubert nodded in curt acknowledgement of her unspoken command; in a flurry of dark robes, he disappeared.

Claude, in all his wisdom, refrained from continuing the conversation until Hubert was out of earshot. But as soon as the coast was clear, he casually put his arms behind his head and picked up where Edelgard had left off.

“Yeah, I don’t either,” he said quietly, his sincerity taking Edelgard entirely by surprise. “I lost track after the first couple times. These kinds of things tend to roll off her shoulders, you know? But it kept happening, and I don’t think she ever actually got over it.”

“But it’s been more than five years,” Edelgard pointed out with a cautious tilt of her head. “I see no reason why our past relationship would give you cause to set us up now.”

“Isn’t it enough for me to want my best friend to be happy?”

“At the price of your friendship?” She scoffed. “It’s nearly impossible to ignore how angry she is with you. I can’t imagine that’s a desirable relationship to have with the person you used to solidify an alliance.” 

Claude’s smile tightened. “Would you accept the explanation that I wanted eyes and ears inside your home?”

“Hilda and espionage are indeed a decent match, considering the laid-back manner with which she often conducts herself, but no. Could she stand to be so emotionally torn?” 

Claude chuckled, shaking his head, then leaned in towards her with such a strong sense of confidentiality that Edelgard felt herself lean to meet him despite her misgivings.

“She still thinks about you,” he finally confessed, clasping a hand on Edelgard’s shoulder. And, grateful that Hubert was gone for the moment, she allowed him to. Just for a moment, however, because she soon brushed him off coolly and set her hands upon her hips.

“Not even your close friends are safe from your investigative tendencies, then?” she asked with an analytical tilt of her head.

“It wasn’t so sinister as that, Edelgard!” Claude laughed. “We just meet up sometimes, throw some alcohol in the mix – anyway, I guess she’d had you on the mind, ‘cause she started getting weepy just a few glasses in.”

Edelgard raised a thin brow in disbelief. She had a difficult time imagining that. Hilda had reacted to the initial breakup with a laugh and a grin, and even gone so far as to say that she’d been thinking about doing the breaking up herself. And while Claude was indeed the person who arguably knew Hilda best, she couldn’t bring herself to believe he was actually telling the truth.

As kind as it was to think that perhaps Hilda still had some lingering feelings for her, Edelgard had no time for such a silly, girlish fantasy.

“And so you took it upon yourself to set her up with an Emperor,” she cut in drily, unimpressed, “Despite the fact that your own country would undoubtedly feel the repercussions of such an action for generations to come.”

“I stand by my decision.” Claude smiled as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Your… _history_ aside, Hilda’s the right choice for the job. She’s smart, good with people, and you’d be surprised by what she manages to pull off when she wants to. And sure, I don’t think I’d complain if it turns out I finally get someone to complain with during those big international meet-ups.”

Edelgard sighed. Claude was a cunning man, and far more intelligent than he preferred to let on, but sometimes his antics went far beyond what she was willing to put up with.

“I am sure that Lady Hilda and I will make the most of our pooled experiences,” she said, “particularly now that we are wed. However…”

She lifted her hand subtly, gesturing out at the guests milling around them. “As engaging as I have found your conversation, I’m afraid that I must fulfill my duties as host and thank the rest of our visitors for coming to share today with us.”

Claude began to respond, but Edelgard held her hand out between them to cut him off. “One last thing. I know that Hilda values your friendship. And as much as I would like to stand by my lady wife on this particular matter, it wouldn’t do to have such a deep rift between us leaders so soon after today’s nuptials. Perhaps…”

She paused. Tilting her head slightly askew, she pondered the correct way to phrase the request she wished to make of her fellow ruler. The time to do so was short, however, and she spoke as soon as her mind was made up.

“Perhaps it would be wise to consider baring the truth of your plot to her, if not to me.”

From afar, she caught a glimpse of Hubert’s terse expression. Hilda didn’t seem to be anywhere near him, but he didn’t seem to be too concerned about her absence. And as Edelgard looked around, she noticed the reason for that lack of concern.

Just a little ways away, Hilda stood surrounded by a cluster of her friends, chattering and giggling the day away. She’d probably told Hubert to stay away, that she could well enough defend herself in the case of an emergency, or—more likely—that there was no need for her to have a babysitter casting his dark shadow over her day.

Edelgard felt her smile soften at the sight of Hilda’s happy expression; a warmth sparked in her chest with all the comfort of a candle in the night. She left Hilda to her conversation, however, for she couldn’t imagine any of the companions Hilda was talking with would be pleased to see her. She was the one to have taken their friend from them, after all.

Sighing, Edelgard turned back towards the guests that awaited her acknowledgement.

She made a point of not acknowledging Claude’s smug, knowing smile.

* * *

“Hilda, listen.”

Dorothea clung in close, the gentle jangling of her jewelry like windchimes as the two of them swung around in step with the orchestra’s playful tune.

“Are you alright? It feels like all of this came out of nowhere. First the engagement announcement, and now you’re married _._ And to _Edie,_ of all people!”

Hilda tossed her head back in laughter. This was, maybe, the greatest downside to having kept her past relationship with Edelgard in the dark for like, forever. Claude was the one and only exception, of course, but that was because there had never been a chance of preventing him from finding out in the first place.

And while she and Dorothea had never been _super_ close, Hilda had always felt a weird sort of understanding between them. Maybe if she’d never gotten close to Edelgard, she bet they could have been friends. Two young, beautiful girls who knew how to get what they wanted? They would have been unstoppable. _Unstoppable._

As it was, she was grateful to have someone around to talk to. Someone who wasn’t a backstabbing, self-centered _jerk,_ that was. And sure, Dorothea was usually totally caught up in rehearsals or whatever it was that she did all day, but she was closer than said jerk would be once he had to drag his sorry ass back to the Alliance.

“I knoooooow,” Hilda finally said, twirling about beneath Dorothea’s outstretched hand as she talked. “This is like, the _last_ thing I ever thought this would happen.”

“It’s surprising that she would pick you, don’t you think?” Dorothea asked, green eyes glinting mischievously despite her nonchalant tone. “I never saw the two of you interacting much at school – or at all, if I think about it. And it’s not like there weren’t other options.”

“You can have her if you want,” Hilda said, raising her brow to accentuate the dryness of her answer. “ _I_ didn’t sign up for _anything._ And do you know how much work an Emperor’s wife is supposed to do? Ew.”

Dorothea chuckled, but shook her head. An unexpected pressure on Hilda’s chest lifted, and she found herself smiling in return.

“I don’t think that’s the direction I want _my_ life to take, Hilda sweet, kind as the offer is.” The music drew to a close; Dorothea pulled Hilda in for a brief hug.

But before Hilda could pull away, Dorothea grasped Hilda’s elbow so firmly that she couldn’t put any distance between them without causing a scene. And then, leaning in so closely that Hilda could feel the warmth of her breath against the curve of her ear, Dorothea whispered, “I wouldn’t look now, but I think there’s someone out there who wouldn’t want to marry anyone else."

“What do you mean?”

“I _mean,_ a certain someone’s got her eyes on you.”

Hilda sighed. Ignoring Dorothea’s hissed urging to _not_ look over her shoulder, she disguised the motion as a toss of her hair and looked over her shoulder. For a brief moment, her eyes met Edelgard’s, but the Emperor looked away as soon as Hilda noticed her gaze.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Hilda said as soon as she turned back to face Dorothea.

Dorothea smirked, but whatever she meant to say next was eclipsed by the sound of the very last fucking voice Hilda wanted to hear, like, ever.

“May I have this next dance?” the leader of the Leicester Alliance asked, one leather-gloved hand outstretched.

“I’m gonna have to give you a hard pass, Claude,” Hilda said with a snooty upturning of her nose. “I’m dancing with Dorothea, and she’s much prettier than you.”

“Actually,” Dorothea laughed awkwardly as she released Hilda from her grasp, “I agreed to sing with the orchestra for a little bit, and it’s about time for me to get ready. Why don’t you go ahead and dance with him, Hilda?”

 _Fuck you,_ Hilda mouthed, but her complaints fell on unsympathetic ears; Dorothea stepped away with nothing but a smile, a delicate wave of her fingers, and – if Hilda was right, as always – an awful feeling of superiority.

Claude, without waiting for Hilda’s further permission, stepped in to claim the spot Dorothea had just vacated.

“I know you’re mad at me,” he said, holding his arms out in empty preparation for Hilda to step into the dance. “But please, Hilda. Let me try to explain.”

He didn’t force her into it, Hilda noted with narrowed eyes. That was a change; he hadn’t had any problem forcing her into uncomfortable situations before.

She looked him up and down, still suspicious of his intentions, waiting to see if his stance chanced when she didn’t immediately give in to what he wanted. But he didn’t step forward and trap her into a dance, only began to lower his arms when he realized that she wasn’t about to leap at the thought of accepting his invitation.

“Alright. I understand,” Claude began to say, but Hilda cut him off by stepping forward and placing her hands in his.

“Start talking,” she grumbled, setting one of his hands on the hip of her white dress. “I’m still pissed at you, by the way.”

The smile that broke across Claude’s face wasn’t dramatic or overblown, but small. Genuine. Relieved. He liked to play the goofy guy, sure, but the expression that Hilda saw in that short moment told her that maybe he _did_ feel bad for tossing her to the wolves after all.

The eagles?

Whatever.

The music struck up again, and Claude took the leading step.

“I really didn’t know you’d be so mad at me,” he admitted, just as soon as the music was loud enough that no one else could hear their close conversation. “There… I saw the opportunity, and I didn’t know if you’d ever forgive me for letting it pass by.”

“There’d better be some groveling by the end of this,” Hilda informed him nonchalantly, even as he lifted his hand high enough for her to twirl under it. 

Claude just chuckled, shaking his head.

“You know that I knew about your past with Edelgard.”

“And you took that as an invitation to fuck with my life. Yeah, I’m real grateful.”

“Hilda.” Claude stopped mid-beat and squeezed her hands within his. The intensity of his gaze took Hilda by surprise, and she found that she couldn’t look away from the desperation it revealed. “Please, just listen to me. No quips, no jokes – I’m trying to be honest with you.”

Hilda sighed. She was so fucking torn. Claude was her best friend, had been ever since they went to school together, and it hurt to keep pushing him away. Yet at the same time, she couldn’t let go of the feeling that he’d utterly betrayed her trust, that he’d taken advantage of their friendship for his political gain.

But when it all boiled down to it, Claude never did anything without a reason. Nothing _this_ big, at least.

She could at least hear him out.

“Alright,” she said, pressing up against the ornate fabric of Claude’s tunic as the dance required. “I’m actually listening this time.”

Claude’s shoulders relaxed. His expression took on an air of relief, and he looked out at the guests swirling on the floor around them.

“So, I knew,” he said after a moment. “And I saw how happy you were when you were with her. I know you tried to not let anyone see, given her position and, I’m assuming, her request to keep it secret.”

Hilda was quiet, as she’d promised. It wasn’t like she had anything to add, since he was spot-on with his analysis so far. She absolutely _hated_ being read like this, though.

“Despite all that, I saw how much you liked her, even after she broke your heart. So when this all happened, the alliance and everything, and then someone brought up _marriage_ to seal the deal – I thought it was a good chance to bring some happiness to your life. I didn’t realize that what I did would hurt you so badly until after the fact.”

The tiny little braids woven in his hair - she assumed to look nice for the ceremony - swayed gently as Claude shook his head.

“I’m sorry, Hilda,” he said. “I understand if you can’t forgive me, but I just wanted to let you know the reason for my actions.”

Hilda sighed. She would forgive him, of course. Honestly, she found it hard to imagine a world in which she _wouldn’t_ forgive him.

But just like she needed to understand him, _he_ needed to understand _her._

“It felt like a betrayal,” Hilda said quietly, contemplatively. “I know you figured it out on your own, but you were the only one I ever actually told about dating Edelgard.”

She paused for a moment, pressing her lips together as she tried to put exactly what bothered her into words. Claude said nothing, thank the Goddess, but gave her the time she needed.

“It felt like you used our friendship – used _me_ – to get this alliance to work out for you,” she finally came up with. “And that sucked, because I always thought you’d be the one person who _wouldn’t_ do that to me. We’re best friends, Claude. Best friends don’t do that shit to each other.”

“We’re still friends?” Remorse and hope mixed in Claude’s expression as he met her eyes. Hilda had the feeling that she was witnessing a rare moment of true authenticity, that he really _did_ feel bad about betraying her trust—despite his good intentions.

Which left her with a conundrum. She’d missed his companionship while giving him the silent treatment, like there’d been a giant hole in her heart without him. But would it really be _that_ easy to let him in again? She and Edelgard had broken up for a reason, after all, and the fact that his meddling had happened to work out this time didn’t mean he’d done the right thing.

“Yeah, we’re friends,” she said, shoving down the reluctance that bubbled up in her gut at letting him off so easily and tossing a delicately coiffed ringlet over her shoulder to hide her misgivings. “It’d suck to lose you after putting so much effort in getting you to open up to me.”

“But you gotta _get_ it, Claude! I can be friends with you and still be mad as hell. And whether this whole thing-” she gestured out around her at the fancy gowns, the chatter of guests, the invisible bond of the law that now connected her to Edelgard, “-works out or not, that’s up to _me._ Me and Edelgard, _we’re_ the ones that have to figure out how to work with this shitshow!” 

“Did you even _think_ about what would happen after you made your big announcement?” To her embarrassment, her voice cracked, but she stared Claude on without faltering. “Did you think about _anything_ past your own self-satisfaction for setting this up?” 

Claude was silent. Thank the Goddess. Hilda didn’t know if she could actually listen to Claude’s bullshit reasoning anymore. They danced quietly for a minute or two, until he finally spoke. 

“Yes. But you won’t like it.” He pressed his lips together so tightly that they almost disappeared. “To tell the truth, I saw an opportunity to further our alliance with the Empire. I’d already had you in mind for some sort of ambassadorship, and then someone brought up marriage. It helped them, it helped us, and from an outsider’s point of view, it looked like nothing more than a happy twist of fate.” 

Hilda found herself sighing as Claude swung her around to the music. 

She couldn’t say she was surprised. If anything, she was taken aback by the fact that Claude had managed to go so long without actually admitting the reasoning and truth to his plot. 

“You’re a piece of shit, Claude,” she said, resignation lowering her voice. “But hey, at least you’re fucking aware of it. Tell me: do you get off on messing with people right away? Or do you wait until you’re back in your room for the night?” 

Claude had the good sense to look ashamed in the face of her accusation. Hilda rolled her eyes. But before she could make another retort, he spoke up. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Hilda blinked, confused. 

“Huh?” 

“I’m really sorry, Hilda. You didn’t deserve any of this.” 

So little made sense anymore.

Claude had apologized before, sure, but that had just been the natural progression of their conversation! This? This was straight-up out of the blue, and its unprompted nature added a note of genuinity that their conversation so far had been lacking. 

Fucking asshole. Why did he have to make everything so complicated? 

But as angry as she was--as she _wanted_ to be--it was her wedding day. What’s more she’d rather _die_ than have the entire day overshadowed by an argument with Claude. Like, if _that_ was the only thing she remembered out of a day literally set up to be all about her? 

It was time to change the subject, to play nice before people started whispering about the rift between her and her once-liege.

Besides, it was so _tiring_ to be angry all the time. Especially with Claude. 

Closing her eyes, Hilda took a deep breath. In through her nose, out through her mouth, and with it went the animosity and annoyance that had been building up ever since she’d allowed Claude to talk to her. 

“No, I really didn’t,” she said, offering him a gracious smile befitting of an Emperor’s wife before it took on a decidedly more mischievous quality. 

“How about, to start making it up to me, you go up on stage after Dorothea’s done singing and give a longass speech about how awesome I am and that you don’t deserve my graciousness. Maybe then I can actually, like, _forgive_ you,” she added, tacking on the afterthought like she’d meant it all along. He knew it would take more to actually earn her back, but this was a start. “But! We’re still friends. We’ll _always_ be friends. I don’t think anything could actually change that.”

She meant it. Sure, maybe they’d initially become friends for political reasons, but it wasn’t like she could just... _dump_ him. They weren’t just friends. He was her best friend, the one person she couldn’t fool or distract, and the thought of cutting him out of her life was a painful one. She _loved_ him, in her own way, and beneath his plots and shenanigans, she was pretty damn certain Claude loved her too. 

Without any warning, like he’d caught sight of a glimmer of uncertainty on her face, Claude lifted Hilda up and spun her around. It caught her off guard for a moment, but then Hilda found herself swept up in the moment as well. She laughed as the guests dancing around them seemed to slow down in comparison, and seemed to look at the two of them skeptically as the moment’s joy rose above Dorothea’s song. 

“I’m so glad,” Claude said as soon as Hilda’s feet finally met the ground again. “I was scared that I’d have to go back home without my best friend.”

“Never,” Hilda said, and Claude leaned down to press a kiss against her cheek. 

The moment of affection, sweet as it was, stung. It pricked at her conscience like someone had thrown her onto a bed of cactuses, and Hilda couldn’t shake the feeling that all they’d done was slap a bandage over the wound torn between them.

But it was a start to repairing their relationship, and that would have to be enough for the time being. Judging from the somber grace with which Claude moved, he was just as aware of the fact that the fix was temporary as she was. Even so, she couldn’t leave him with just a promise of friendship, not when there was more she could do. 

“How long do you plan to stay?” Hilda asked. “I think there’s supposed to be a big party down in the city. We could go together.” 

“I actually have to leave tomorrow morning,” Claude admitted with a sheepish grin as he set Hilda free from the dance, “so I should try and talk to some people before everyone’s too drunk to think straight.”

“Yeah, probably a good idea.” Hilda grimaced. The only thing keeping her from getting totally wasted on the free-flowing liquor was the fact that if she didn’t have her head on straight, the immaculate white of her dress would absolutely be stained by the end of the night.

Despite the fact that Claude needed to go, he seemed reluctant to actually leave. So Hilda pulled him in, dragging him down as she wrapped her arms around his torso and squeezed.

“Make sure you come see me before you go,” she said quietly. “I’m not ready to be left alone.”

With one hand, Claude patted her head. With the other, he returned her embrace.

“Will do,” he replied. And then he pulled away with a wink, and Hilda watched her last connection to home walk away for the night.

A flash of red caught her eye; she followed it to see Edelgard watching her from afar. To her surprise, when their eyes met, Edelgard smiled. Why, Hilda couldn’t tell, but she seemed…happy. Relieved, maybe.

Hilda lifted her hand in a hint of a wave, and Edelgard’s smile only grew in the moment before Hilda turned away to hunt down the rest of her friends.

The happiness that bloomed in her chest at seeing that rare smile gave her pause, however. She didn’t want to consider the possibility that Claude might actually have been onto something after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay in getting this chapter up! It's a bit longer than the previous ones have been; hopefully that helps make up for it a little bit. On the other hand, the next chapter is _quite_ a bit shorter, but it's legitimately one of my favorite parts. If not my favorite. It kinda sparked this whole story, really. 
> 
> My greatest thanks to [Eth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ethereally/pseuds/Ethereally) for their help in guiding these conversations. I don't think it'd be half as good without them. 
> 
> Thoughts? Ideas? Just want to chat? I can be found at my [tumblr](https://www.tansybells.tumblr.com) and [twitter.](https://twitter.com/tansybells) Have a lovely day! ❤


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edelgard can't sleep, not with her new wife in bed beside her.

It was late at night, and yet she could not sleep. Edelgard watched the slow movement of passing clouds as they obscured the sliver of moonlight that managed to slip through the drawn curtains of their marital suite. Hilda’s breathing, quiet and steady, marked the continual passage of time from behind her back.

It was the same as every other night since their marriage ceremony. Hilda would come to her door at a late hour, preemptively clad in a nightdress (so as to avoid having to undress before her, she assumed), and proclaim that she was there for their nightly rendezvous. And then, despite the self-conscious blush Edelgard could always feel rising to her cheeks as a result of Hilda’s provocative phrasing, nothing would happen. The two of them might be sleeping in the same bed, true, but the distance between them was nothing short of insurmountable.

Yet on nights such as this, when Hilda quickly fell asleep and Edelgard had not yet managed to also obtain blissful unconsciousness, she would occasionally… overlook that great distance.

Holding her breath, Edelgard rolled over onto her other side so that she was facing Hilda and allowed herself a faint smile as she propped herself up on an elbow. It was truly fortunate that the bed was as large as it was, for Hilda’s sleeping habits did not seem to have changed since their younger days.

She was sprawled out across the entirety of her half of the bed, her limbs tossed about every which way in a truly chaotic fashion. Yet there was one key difference that Edelgard had noted over the course of their nights together: Hilda seemed to have abated her habit of clinging to her bedmates by claiming numerous pillows and blankets and surrounding herself with them.

The softness of Edelgard’s expression twisted with regret. There had once been a time in which she had been the object of Hilda’s slumbering affection, and the notion of being so close yet so far brought upon Edelgard a wistful heartache that somehow managed to envelop her entire being more and more with each passing night.

Her hand moved on her own, moved past the barrier of pillows and blankets that Hilda had erected between them, and hovered above the waves of long pink hair that fanned about Hilda’s form.

Pink. There was a certain love in her heart for the color pink. Many would assume Edelgard’s favorite color to be red, after taking into consideration her affinity for the color in both décor and clothing. Which it was! And of those, most would think that her said affinity correlated to a love for blood – and in a way, they would be right. As red was the color of blood, so red was the color of life.

Yet in seeing the toss of Hilda’s hair, the mischievous shine of her eyes, the faint blush that occasionally graced her cheeks, it was ever so evident that pink held just as much vitality within. Pink was light, and life, and love – all the wonderful things that Edelgard knew that she would never be able to obtain for herself.

Hilda murmured something Edelgard couldn’t understand, and shifted in her sleep. Edelgard froze in position, her heartbeat quickening as she watched Hilda’s tossing, and willed not a single muscle to move.

And then, much to her relief, Hilda stilled once more. Her pale lips parted slightly, and a wavy lock of her hair fell from the side of her pillow. Edelgard watched every motion with incredulous eyes.

It was nigh on impossible to believe that this was her life now. There was no doubt in her mind that Hilda abhorred her still, despite the other woman’s determination to make it seem as though everything was perfectly fine between them. She knew how Hilda could be, even if she did not always immediately understand the true intentions behind her machinations.

With bated breath, Edelgard reached out and allowed herself to brush slender fingers against the stray lock of Hilda’s hair. The two of them took equal pride in their hair and its care, she already knew that, but that did not change how bizarre of a feeling it was to touch such soft, silken hair and yet be keenly aware of the fact that it was not hers.

“I wish we could be as we once were,” someone whispered, and with a shock that ran through her entire body like lightning, Edelgard realized that it was her own voice that had broken the reverential silence. It had never been like her to voice her hopes and dreams for the future – after all, was it not traditional that speaking one’s wish made it impossible to come true? – but the heart-stopping thrill of making her prayer known to the night around them almost seemed to be worth the risk.

A soft wave of comfort and affection washed over her. Edelgard granted herself yet one more smile to be a secret that she could keep close to her chest even after the sun rose in the morning, and eased her head back down onto her pillow. However nice it might be to continue watching over Hilda for the night, there were many things Edelgard needed to do the next day and she would need the rest.

She rolled over to face the moonlight once more, and closed her eyes to sleep.  
  


* * *

  
Unbeknownst to her, lazy pink eyes fluttered open for a brief moment. But the moment soon passed, and the night resumed its solitary claim on unspoken feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter, I know, but I genuinely felt like I couldn't pair this chapter with any other scene. It's one of the first ones I wrote after coming up with the premise for Moonstruck, too. Before anything else was really put into words. Also, it's the big reason this fic is titled as it is.
> 
> I know this is a bit of a cliffhanger, but also it's a promise for change! Things are changing! Hilda irrefutably _knows_ now! And more importantly, she can't ignore it anymore. >:3c
> 
> I'd _love_ to know what you think.
> 
> Thoughts? Ideas? Just want to chat? I can be found at my [tumblr](https://tansybells.tumblr.com) and [twitter.](https://twitter.com/tansybells) Have a lovely day! ❤


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hilda doesn't really take big surprises well.

She had to get out.

She had to get out of the damn palace before she lost her mind, and if she saw Edelgard’s face  _ one  _ more time –

Yeah, no. She’d been struggling to sleep ever since she’d started coming over to Edelgard’s room every night to try and keep up the appearance of a happily married couple despite their rocky beginning. It was something about the unfamiliar bed combined with the complications of a reluctant bedmate.

And it wasn’t even like they hadn’t ever shared a bed together before! Naps were a perfectly good date idea, in Hilda’s opinion, and she’d been able to convince Edelgard to take a break or two back when they were dating – which was a really weird thing to think about, considering that they were technically married now.

Not even  _ technically _ ! They were  _ legally  _ married!

It wasn’t even like that had changed anything about their relationship. Hilda still felt used and betrayed, and Edelgard was still too proud and distant to acknowledge the existence of emotions.

Well. Maybe she was being a little harsh on Edelgard, considering the absolute  _ bombshell _ of emotion that her – her  _ wife _ had dropped on her the night before. Never before had Hilda been so grateful for her skill in pretending to be asleep, even when her fake naps had been so convincing that they’d gotten her out of mucking the stables back at school.

_ She wishes we could be as we were. _

What a bizarre thought. Hilda had yet to wrap her mind around the idea of ‘ _ hey, Edelgard might still have feelings for you _ ,’ and there was no way that she’d be able to sit down and actually work through the revelation if she caught sight of even a single strand of ivory hair or a whiff of bergamot.

Which, of course, made moping around in the bed they’d shared up until just a few minutes ago pretty difficult. The sheets still  _ smelled _ like Edelgard, dammit, and she was pretty sure by this point that if she didn’t excavate herself soon, there wouldn’t be any hope for her. There would be no Hilda left, only a sad, distressed, disgustingly beautiful Hilda-shaped mound of blanket and pillows.

Hilda rolled over in bed, squinting against the sunlight that had leaked into the room from the partially covered windows over on Edelgard’s side of the bed.

Ugh. It would be nice to have never picked up on any of her dumb brother’s survival… lesson…  _ things,  _ but thanks to that and the like, two months she’d been living in Enbarr, she was pretty sure it was a bit before midmorning. Probably?

Aka, she could probably still weasel something breakfast-adjacent out of the kitchen staff before getting the fuck out of the palace. What she was gonna do, she didn’t actually know. All she knew was that the key to her plan was avoiding just about everything Edelgard-related. 

Dragging herself out of bed was a breeze. Or at least, it was a breeze once she rolled over one time too many and gravity did all the work for her. For a brief second, she considered skipping over the mad dash back to her own chambers a few hallways down and just getting dressed in something she could find in Edelgard’s closet, but that would entirely defeat the purpose of her anti-Edelgard plan in the first place!

So, clad in nothing but her pajamas and a robe, to her room she went. She made sure to drop an off-handed comment of the exhaustion that came with being a newlywed to a well-meaning servant on the way there though, so as soon as she finished getting dressed and made up to perfection, boom! There was breakfast! Sure, it was nothing more than a few hunks of bread with egg, bacon, and cheese sandwiched between them, but what else could she expect right before lunch?

And then, in that split second between grabbing onto the sandwich and taking a deceptively delicate bite, Hilda realized  _ exactly _ how she wanted to go about her escape from the palace.

After the sandwich was entirely devoured, she grabbed her favorite heels. Tossed a purse that perfectly complimented her new gold and pink dress over her shoulder. Checked her reflection in the vanity to make sure that her everything was just-so. With her ritual complete, she set her hand on the doorknob.

But before she could turn the knob and begin the execution of her plan, a sudden knock on the door interrupted everything.

“Yeah? What’s up?” Hilda answered through the door as she leaned ever so slightly against the door. She hadn’t actually locked it before stripping down from her pajamas, so the risk of whoever was out there taking her response as an invitation to come in wasn’t one she wanted to take.

“It’s nothing.” Edelgard’s voice, which was as warm yet distant as she had been ever since their marriage, greeted her from the other side of the door. “I had only hoped – well, that I might greet you this morning. I rarely have the chance to, seeing how great the difference between our schedules tend to be. With that in mind, I decided to visit between meetings.”

Hilda groaned as her heart sank. This was the absolute last thing that she wanted to put up with. Like, Edelgard taking it upon herself to reach out to her while she was sleeping was cute as hell – but after the emotional bomb she’d dropped on her the night before, she wanted zero interaction with her until she had time to process. And there was  _ soooooooo  _ much to process, that she needed like four, five days for the whole thing? Weeks?

Like, seriously. It was impossible.

As much as she wanted to just shut Edelgard out after the shit she’d pulled back when they were dating, though, she knew that putting off the task of facing her was just gonna make things harder for later-Hilda. But at the same time – when was the last time she’d actually given a shit about later-Hilda?

“So that’s like,  _ really  _ sweet of you, okay? And I’m definitely not trying to shut you down here, Edelgard, but also…” She let out a fake cough, muffling it in the sleeve of her dress, then waited for dramatic effect. “I think I’m trying to come down with something? And I  _ really  _ don’t wanna bother you and get everybody in the whole palace sick.”

Edelgard cleared her throat like she was about to say something, but Hilda hurried to interrupt before her plan could get screwed up.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m gonna just sleep it off and I’ll show up for breakfast tomorrow. Just don’t wait up for me tonight or you might get it yourself!” The laugh she let out at her dumb joke was intentionally weak, but the sound was loud enough to cover up the notable  _ click  _ of the lock turning in her door. Just in case Edelgard decided to try and press further.

But she didn’t.

Instead, she heard a sigh. Like Edelgard had expected this exact result from her attempt to bridge the gap between them. Like she wasn’t surprised, only disappointed to have been right.

Hilda pressed her forehead against the door and tried to ignore the guilt that threatened to crush her ribcage under its weight. Everything would be fine, because as soon as Edelgard left, she could pretend that there’d never been anything between them in the first place.

It would be fine. She’d be fine.

This was fine.

Hilda only had to wait a few minutes after the sound of Edelgard’s signature heels against the tile floor faded off into the distance before she felt comfortable enough to slip down the hall and make her way out of the palace entirely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying out shorter chapters, seeing if that will help me write this a little better. I hope that's alright. Sorry if it disappoints. Thank you to [Olivia](https://twitter.com/pippitea) and [Lily](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blooming_Spiderlily/pseuds/Blooming_Spiderlily) for your help. 
> 
> I did post a longer one-shot though, if you'd like more content. Although this one is Marianne/Hilda/Edelgard, I really enjoyed writing it. [It's right over here. ❤](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25043224)
> 
> [my tumblr](https://tansybells.tumblr.com) | [my twitter](https://twitter.com/tansybells)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edelgard frets about her wife, who appears to be under the weather.

Edelgard paced back and forth across the floor, her hands held formally, too tightly, perhaps, behind her back. She had gone to Hilda’s chambers with the best of intentions, and while she could not fault her wife for falling prey to something as insidious and unexpected as a short-lived virus, she could not shake herself of the feeling that there was something _more_ she should be doing given the current circumstance.

It wasn’t that she wished to give Hilda cause to be indebted to her, no—and taking into consideration Hilda’s fondness for having others care for her in the first place, there would be no cause for the other woman to read that far into her concern anyway. It was simply going to be a matter of Edelgard performing the marital duties expected of her. Was that not the game they’d been playing ever since their marriage anyway?

Testing the limits of how far they could project an image of wedded harmony seemed to be Hilda’s game of choice, and despite Edelgard’s own moment of emotional weakness the night before, she considered herself to be an adequate player.

She knew how Hilda worked, after all.

It was just a bit past mid-morning, so if Hilda had followed her usual pattern, she would not have had breakfast yet. But if she was feeling so ill as to remain in her rooms, there would be no way for her to acquire said breakfast unless a maid or footman happened to cross her path.

Were she to take that into consideration, surely it would not be remiss to impose her concern upon Hilda and deliver a light meal to her room? After all, failing to ensure her wife’s return to health would be the very mark of a negligent spouse.

Her own conflicted feelings regarding their marriage aside, the fact that Hilda had once been—and continued to be—a precious person to her was more than enough to prompt her assistance in this troubled time.

Hubert, in contrast to his liege’s nervous movements, stood solemnly at attention by the door. He offered neither suggestions nor solidarity, but Edelgard was so accustomed to his presence that there was a great comfort to be found in his silence regardless.

Even if it was a silence she was soon to break.

Turning about to face the large window that graced the back wall of the otherwise dark and stuffy room that she had chosen for today’s contemplations, Edelgard relished as the warmth of the morning sun washed over her face before finally speaking over her shoulder.

“Hubert.”

“Yes, Lady Edelgard.”

“There is little—if anything—in this castle that escapes your attention. My personal affairs are not excluded.” Hubert did not reply, for it was an undisputed fact between them. He only looked at her with that dark, steady gaze of his, a single brow lifting as he waited for her to make her point. “I know you do not greatly approve of her, but just what is your opinion of Hilda?”

“She’s a conniving, insufferable minx who refuses to acknowledge when it would be wise to keep her mouth shut.”

It was a struggle to keep an unprofessional burst of laughter from bubbling up and making itself known. Edelgard considered it a great success that the only sign of her amusement at her retainer’s answer was a tightening of the close-lipped smile that had grown upon her face during his evaluation.

“She certainly does know how to get what she wants,” she ceded with a gentle tilt of her head as she finally faced Hubert.

“What brings this about?” Hubert asked then. “Marital issues arising so soon after the honeymoon? Shame. Lady Goneril may be many things of which I disapprove, but I had not taken her for an adulteress.”

“Hubert.” Edelgard spoke sharply so as to make her displeasure at his sordid humor regarding her wife impossible to miss. Hubert dipped his head in apology, then cleared his throat and carried on.

“Understood. What would the issue be then, milady?”

Edelgard tangled her fingers in the crimson fabric of her skirt as she turned back around to look out the window. There were several ways to phrase her problem at hand, but none of them seemed quite as delicate as she felt the situation required.

“I find myself concerned with Hilda’s health this morning,” she finally said. “She asked that I not be bothered about caring for her, thus precluding the possibility of falling ill myself, but I cannot rid myself of the desire to help her in at least some capacity. Perhaps a simple breakfast? What do you think, Hubert? Would that be wise?”

Hubert’s silence was, she assumed, a result of him taking his time to seriously consider her issue, but that assumption was far from enough to keep Edelgard from nervously glancing about. His skill regarding matters of state might have been nothing to take lightly, but she could not shake the feeling that coming to him with a sensitive matter of the heart was a mistake.

Especially when he had such… _strong_ opinions regarding the lady in question. But who else was she to go to for help? Dorothea would have been ideal, obviously, but she was regrettably far away on tour. Not to mention that consulting Ferdinand was entirely out of the question. She would never hear the end of it if she spoke to Ferdinand. 

“It is my opinion that you should let her be,” Hubert said, tearing Edelgard from her contemplation with his matter-of-fact conclusion. “Perhaps going without food for the time being would teach her the folly of attempting to—”

“I think I _shall_ bring her breakfast,” Edelgard interrupted her retainer’s condemnation of her wife, surprising herself with the imperial command hidden within her protest. Hubert had made his stance regarding Hilda abundantly clear from the beginning; why was it only recently that she’d taken such offense to it?

She whirled around so firmly that the fabric of her petticoats hit her ankles with remarkable force. She had made up her mind, and there was nothing to be done about it.

“She doesn’t have someone to care for her as I have you, Hubert,” she continued on her way out the door, “and if you have been as efficient in expressing your disdain for her as you are in in everything else you do, I expect that she might appreciate knowing that despite the abnormal nature of our relationship, I am nevertheless on her side.”

Yet before leaving Hubert to his duties, she stopped just before the threshold and gave him a thin – but affectionate – smile. Their disagreements aside, she knew without doubt that she could always count on him. 

And to her great pleasure, she received no smile in return. But that was to be expected from her dear retainer. She did, however, note the slight crinkling at the corners of his eyes, and with that she was satisfied.

* * *

Keeping the cloche-covered tray and the contents hidden within from rattling obnoxiously proved to be of a greater difficulty than Edelgard had initially expected. Despite the firmness of her grip and the sincerity of her conviction, she found that her gloved hands trembled more and more with each cautious step that she took.

Her earlier visit to Hilda’s quarters had been evidence enough of her willingness to impose herself upon the other woman; why was it only now that nervousness flooded her body, making even the simplest gesture completely impossible to carry out? And she had been so _certain_ of her intent while talking with Hubert.

Perhaps it was a result of her attempt at altruism. It was one thing to act when she knew that both she and Hilda would benefit from her actions. That was a logical decision, made for the both of them. And then arose the issue at hand: did it become something else when she wanted to act solely for Hilda’s benefit?

The shaking of the dishes beneath the cloche only grew stronger. Grimacing, Edelgard stopped walking and, adjusting the tray in her grasp, gently lifted the cloche to check on the food.

The head chef had experience with this sort of thing, Edelgard knew for a fact. She, herself, was reluctant to ever admit when she was feeling weak in the morning, thanks to the need to put up a strong front for her staff and subjects. But on those rare mornings where she felt capable of nothing more than staying in bed, the head chef had always provided her with something light enough for a weak stomach while hearty enough that she had the strength to carry on for the day.

He had done much the same today, it seemed.

Lifting the cloche revealed simple, wholesome fare. Edelgard smiled as the gentle steam of a broth wafted across her face. Chicken, perhaps, with a number of herbs that smelled familiar and comforting but that she couldn’t name. Thankfully, it looked like none of the broth had spilled out of the bowl onto the pieces of lightly buttered bread sitting by it, nor had the tea.

Satisfied with what she saw, Edelgard replaced the cloche and continued along the path to Hilda’s rooms. The meal was far from the richer treats that Hilda preferred, but if she wasn’t feeling well, she’d be better off without such things anyway.

A little while later, she stood before the door to Hilda’s bedroom. It felt bizarre, standing there and not being able to fidget her nerves away. She had no hand free enough to adjust the lay of her skirt, and there was no invisible dust to pick off of her shoulders. There was no telling where these butterflies in her stomach would go after she initiated conversation; she could only hope that they wouldn’t fly out of her mouth in incomprehensible jabber.

Yet as she shifted her burden around to free up a hand, she glanced at the door.

It was ajar.

She nudged the door open just a little bit further with her foot, leaden concern weighing her limbs down. She couldn’t remember if Hilda preferred to keep her door open or not, but it had definitely been closed earlier that morning. Then, she called out quietly, softly in case her wife was sleeping.

“Hilda?”

There was no reply.

“Hilda, I brought you something to eat. May I come in?”

Still, nothing.

“I’m coming in,” Edelgard finally announced, pushing the door open with her hip and allowing herself into Hilda’s room. She hoped that Hilda wouldn’t be upset, but she _did_ come bearing breakfast. Hopefully that would temper whatever anger her unannounced presence incurred. 

She hadn’t been in the room since Hilda had moved in, she realized while glancing around, marveling at the great difference between its state now and how it had looked when she’d picked it out. Between the overflowing wardrobe, the incomplete jewelry scattered across her desk, and the copious amount of pink, it was obvious that Hilda had truly made the space her own.

Edelgard smiled, sadness tempering the expression as she cleared off enough space on the desk to set the tray of food down. She’d made such an effort to avoid coming to Hilda’s room for just that reason. Hilda needed such a space, especially after being dragged kicking and screaming into a castle so ostentatiously decorated with Edelgard’s own colors.

Careful to be quiet, Edelgard turned to face Hilda’s bed. She furrowed her brow in confusion at the sight laid out before her, for there was nobody there..

A brief survey of the adjoining rooms confirmed the fear that had lodged itself in Edelgard’s stomach, fueling the quickness of her breath and the slowly growing intensity with which she searched.

Hilda was nowhere to be seen.

Edelgard sat down on the abandoned bed with a deep sigh and held her head in her hands. 

She had struggled with the idea of keeping an eye on Hilda for quite some time after her arrival, just until she’d become familiar with how the other woman tended to spend her days, but had ultimately decided against it. She couldn’t justify the idea of having Hilda _followed_ , not when this place was supposed to become her home. Hilda didn’t deserve that.

Edelgard closed her eyes.

Yes, it would have been helpful to know where Hilda was, now that she’d disappeared. But choosing to take advantage of her authority would have resulted in the worsening of their already strained relationship.

All she could do now was look for her. Any other day, she wouldn’t have allowed herself to become so worried. Hilda was independent—occasionally infuriatingly so—and Edelgard was trying to trust her as much as she could.

But today, today was different, wasn’t it? Today, Hilda was feeling ill, and Edelgard couldn’t shake the feeling that she had been acting… _off._ Not like herself. There was no telling what she might do, or what might happen to her, and in such an uncertain situation, it would be safer to find and keep an eye on her.

She would apologize later.

After taking a deep, shuddering breath, forcefully wrenching the threat of despair out of her system, Edelgard rose from her seat and stalwartly marched back out the door.

“Hubert?” she said to nowhere in particular, her voice rolling out across the hallway with all the gravitas of her authority. “I need to speak to you.”

The dark, looming presence of her retainer appeared over her shoulder. Edelgard did not need to look behind to acknowledge his presence.

“Yes, Lady Edelgard.”

“My lady wife is not in her room,” Edelgard said, glancing down the hallway, checking to make sure no one else was close enough to hear. It wouldn’t do for any of the servants to become aware of her growing unease. “As we discussed earlier, she is not feeling well, and I am concerned for her safety.”

As expected, she had to say nothing more.

“I will find her.”

“Thank you, Hubert.”

Hubert’s ominous presence dissipated, and Edelgard turned to return not to her office, but to her own rooms. Despite the amount of work that still remained for her to do, she knew that concern for Hilda would make it impossible to get anything done.

* * *

Once she was back in her room, entirely alone and no longer required to put up her guard, Edelgard took a seat at her desk and poured herself a glass of water from the pitcher there. Instead of immediately taking a drink, however, she set the glass down and cradled her head in her hands.

This was all giving her such a headache. She could feel it beginning to compound, pressing upon her head like the heaviest of crowns. And that was nothing to speak of the intense throbbing building up behind her eyes.

It was unlike her to be so worried, wasn’t it? And yet Hilda sparked such strong feelings within her with ease. She couldn’t just shake off Hilda’s absence and chalk it up to her sickness. She just couldn’t bring herself to believe that Hilda—strong-willed, stubborn, and self-knowing as she was—could lose enough of her sense of self to act this way.

But thinking that way brought about a dangerous train of thought: what if Hilda _wasn’t_ wandering about in a fugue of the impaired?

What if Hilda had simply… left her?

It seemed possible—Hilda had been very clear about her frustration with their situation, but would she go so far as to run away? No, no—Edelgard could assure herself that Hilda wouldn’t do that. She’d promised Edelgard that they would make the best of the situation together, hadn’t they?

Well, maybe it’d been more of an _agreement_ than a _promise,_ per se, but wouldn’t the sentiment stand? Edelgard found herself increasingly unsure about that.

Picking up her glass and taking a few gulps, Edelgard let her eyes close as the water ran down her throat. It did nothing to ease her headache, but it was a sweet, if momentary, distraction. And perhaps, such a distraction was exactly what she needed.

There was no end to the work that beset an Emperor, after all, much less an Emperor who strove to maintain several difficult diplomatic relationships. It wasn’t ideal that paperwork had become so plentiful that it overflowed from her office desk and onto the small writing desk that she kept in her personal quarters, and _yes,_ perhaps she’d come to her room in the first place so that she could avoid work, but maybe it was a blessing in disguise.

After a deep breath to settle her mind and shove her headache to the back of her consciousness, Edelgard dragged one of the stacks of paper that sat on her desk over in front of her, picked up her pen, and began to work.

It was unclear to Edelgard, just how long she worked. All she knew was that the more she dedicated herself to the slog of paperwork, the less she could dwell on her missing wife. She would likely have to revisit whatever documents she completed, she was well aware of that, but delving into the mostly mindless stacks before her gave her the chance to disassociate from the situation at hand.

As a result, the sharp staccato of someone knocking on her door came as a complete surprise. Edelgard involuntarily jerked her arm at the sound, and she scowled at the resulting line of ink that now ran across the topmost piece of paper. Setting the pen down and pushing her chair away from the table, she rose from the desk and strode across the room to greet whoever was at the door.

She already knew that her visitor wasn’t Hubert; he wouldn’t have hesitated to open the door after alerting her to his presence. So she smoothed out any imaginary wrinkles that might have marred the fabric of her dress, rolled her shoulders to repair any errors in her posture, and adjusted the fit of her gloves before reaching out and opening the door.

A maid stood there, and upon seeing Edelgard’s terse expression, she stiffened anxiously.

“L-Lord von Vestra has returned,” the girl stammered, tangling her fingers together in front of her skirt. Edelgard lifted a brow. So soon? She’d known that sending him would be the best option for a speedy retrieval, but judging from the way the sunlight streamed in through the high windows, he had been gone but an hour or two at most. 

“Yes, and?” Edelgard made an effort to smile comfortingly at her employee, as she knew she was an intimidating person to confront despite her short stature, but she couldn’t set aside the nerves that had been set ablaze within her at hearing of Hubert’s return. But when the maid didn’t immediately give her an answer, Edelgard let that smile falter. “Well?”

The girl jumped at the sudden sharpness in Edelgard’s voice. “He—he’s back!”

Edelgard refrained from rolling her eyes. If the maid were anything like Bernadetta had been during their school days, becoming upset with her would only make trying to obtain her message even more difficult than it already was.

“I know that, child. Did he return with—”

“He’s in Lady Hilda’s room, with the Lady!” the maid finally blurts out, and it’s only thanks to her foresight to step aside that keeps the maid from being completely bowled over in Edelgard’s overwhelming need to verify Hilda’s presence for herself.

As she hurried through the hallways that lead to Hilda’s quarters, though, she regretted not listening to the maid for just a moment longer. Due to her haste, she didn’t know what sort of condition Hilda was in, only that Hilda was there. Her pulse quickened, as did her pace. What would she do if Hilda were hurt? Hilda wasn’t her responsibility, as she was a perfectly autonomous woman in her own right, but—surely, it was alright for Edelgard to be worried, wasn’t it? It was _proper,_ given their marital status.

Edelgard arrived at the door leading to Hilda’s quarters, and, upon seeing that it was cracked, let herself in without hesitation. Hubert stood at attention right beside Hilda’s bed, a frown clear on his face, but Edelgard overlooked him in favor of focusing on Hilda, who sat with her legs hanging off the edge of the bed.

All sense of _propriety_ flew right out of Edelgard’s mind. Without giving herself the chance to think about her actions and how it would affect Hilda, Edelgard flew forward and wrapped her arms tightly around her wife’s shoulders. Hilda squealed in surprise as the force of the embrace bowled her over onto her back. Edelgard buried her face in the fabric of Hilda’s collar and—while she held no stock in the Goddess so many in Fódlan worshiped—gave thanks to whomever it was out there who had brought Hilda safely home.

“Hey, um, Edelgard?”

Hilda looked up at Edelgard with wide, uncertain eyes, and it dawned upon Edelgard that Hilda’s expression wasn’t one of horror or disgust. Rather, a faint blush colored Hilda’s cheeks, and she turned away from Edelgard.

“I don’t wanna say you’re _heavy,_ ” she mumbled, her eyes momentarily flicking to meet Edelgard’s, “but you’re kinda crushing me, here. You think you can maybe, uh—”

Edelgard’s stomach twisted into a tight, horrified knot as, at Hilda’s prompting, she took stock of the situation. It was exceedingly fortunate that Hubert was the only other person in the room, as while the both of them were fully clothed, Edelgard would have had a difficult time denying the way their bodies were pressed flush against each other. Hurriedly, she eased herself off of Hilda, and stood up beside the bed. 

“I—my apologies,” Edelgard said while brushing mussed bangs out of her face. Even through her gloves, she could feel the heat of her blush. “I don’t know what came over me; I—ah, yes, very sorr—” 

“Lady Edelgard,” Hubert said quietly, “perhaps it would be wise to—”

“Ah, yes.” Edelgard took a deep breath to compose herself, then tried again. “My apologies, Lady Hilda, I was merely...very worried about you. When you said you were sick, and then I could find you nowhere, I assumed the very worst had happened.”

“I just got better and decided to go for a walk,” Hilda said brightly, pulling herself up into a sitting position. She smiled at Edelgard, and while Edelgard’s heart admittedly fluttered at the sight, she could not shake the worry that consumed her. “I guess I was just feeling nauseous or something when I woke up, but I’m better now.”

“I suppose I shall have to take your word for it.” Edelgard made an attempt to smile back, though the expression felt stiff and forced. “Why don’t you rest for the remainder of the day? There isn’t anything that you are obligated to do at present, and ill or not, perhaps the rest would do you good.”

“Yeah, yeah, maybe I will.” Hilda patted the soft coverlet of her bed thoughtfully. 

Edelgard hesitated. “I’d like to hear about it, this evening. Your day out and about, I mean.” She squared her shoulders and resisted the urge to reach out and embrace Hilda once more—just to once again reassure herself that she was _there_. “Would you join me for dinner, Lady Hilda? Assuming you are in a state to, of course. I would not want to cause you undue exertion for my sake.”

The silence that filled the moment following her request was deafening. Edelgard held her breath, her eyes focused on anything but Hilda’s face.

So, when Hilda reached forward and took Edelgard’s gloved hands in her own, Edelgard was caught completely off guard. Dumbfounded, she stared at Hilda’s slender hands and then slowly dragged her attention up to Hilda’s face. To her surprise, that blush that she had noticed earlier had yet to fade away, but that didn’t seem to stop Hilda.

“That doesn’t sound too bad,” Hilda said offhandedly, like she didn’t particularly mind one way or another. Edelgard’s blood rushed in her ears, and she tried to not think too much about the fact that Hilda was holding her hands.

“Then I’ll send someone for you.” Her jaw clenched, regretting every moment of it, Edelgard eased her hands out of Hilda’s grasp. But as soon as that contact was gone, she could replace the passive mask of Emperor that had so often served her for so long. “Now, if you don’t mind, I should return to my office. I’ll be there if you need me for any reason.”

She turned to Hubert. “I left a stack of paperwork on the desk in my room,” she informed him. “Please send someone to bring it to my office. I’d like to look it all over again, just in case I made any mistakes.”

Hubert nodded in acquiescence, a hand placed over his heart, and he left the room. Edelgard followed him, fully intending to leave, but she hesitated with her hand on the door. She looked over her shoulder to where Hilda sat, once again on the edge of her bed.

“I… must also apologize that I acted so…” she searched for the right word, “… _immaturely._ I wish I had another explanation for it, other than that I was very worried about where you had disappeared to.” She smiled feebly at Hilda. “I truly did not intend to infringe upon your freedom. We may not be happy with it, but we are wed now, and I hope to extend to you what liberties may come with your position. I do hope you find it within yourself to forgive me, Lady Hilda.”

She turned to leave.

“Hilda.”

“What?” Edelgard glanced over her shoulder once again at the sound of Hilda’s voice, unexpected and familiar. “I’m sorry?”

“It’s okay to call me Hilda, you know.” Hilda leaned forward, and propped her elbows up on her knees. “I guess we’re married now, like you said, so you might as well just call me by name.” She raised a brow as the corners of her painted lips curled up in a faint smile of her own. “Think you can handle that, Imperial Majesty?”

Edelgard’s own smile grew. “I suppose I can try,” she said. “Hilda.”

With that, she departed from Hilda’s room with a soaring heart.

_Hilda hadn’t left her._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait. Since the last chapter, I wrote an [42k Marianne/Hilda/Edelgard fic,](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26309848/chapters/64062580) started grad school, and discovered that apparently monstertober is a thing? So if you like wlw monsters, keep an eye out here over the next month, maybe check out my [twitter,](https://twitter.com/tansybells) where I occasionally post progress updates and rant about good ol' grad school life. 
> 
> Thank you for sticking around despite the sporadic updates. It means a great deal to me ♡


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